


The Beefcakes and the Mole Person

by SlantedKnitting



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M, RPF, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-07
Updated: 2012-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-29 02:40:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/314935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlantedKnitting/pseuds/SlantedKnitting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <div class="center">During the first series, Colin makes friends with a crew member and starts keeping a lot of secrets from Bradley, who keeps prying and prying until he gets what he wants.</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One - Wales

**Author's Note:**

> Written on LiveJournal for the [merlinbb_rpf](http://merlinbb-rpf.livejournal.com/) 2011 big bang. Fic masterpost is [here](http://merlinbb-rpf.livejournal.com/13011.html).
> 
> All art by [gwyntastic](http://gwyntastic.livejournal.com). See her masterpost [here](http://shoppery.livejournal.com/2420.html).

Colin snuck out during his lunch break on his first day of filming _Merlin_. He hid himself behind a large truck in the car park of the studio and lit a cigarette. It was a nerve-wracking sort of day - the very first day - and even though he'd done well in all his takes so far, he was still anxious. The whole thing made him nervous, even though he'd never prepared more for a role. He'd spent hours upon hours researching Merlin and the Pendragons, reading the legends, memorizing the scripts, speaking with the directors and the producers and the writers and the other actors. All that didn't change the fact that he was suddenly playing the title character in a BBC show, and it certainly didn't change the fact that he was somewhat addicted to nicotine. He'd been trying to quit for a while, but it calmed him down too much for him to give it up completely. He had managed to cut back quite a bit - one or two during lunch, one or two before bed, and that was it.

He still didn't want anyone to know. It was his own private problem, his own private form of stress relief. He didn't want people commenting on health risks or judging him for being less of a saint than he knew he usually appeared or trying to convince him to quit or, worst of all, trying to join him during his solitary smoke breaks. He needed peace and a few minutes to regroup. He wasn't a social smoker; he often used his secret need for nicotine as an excuse to get away from people.

"Can I borrow a light?"

Colin looked up at the voice and immediately dropped his hand to hide the cigarette, well-aware that the damage had already been done.

"Do you have one?" the man asked, raising an eyebrow at Colin's reaction.

"Erm - yeah." Colin reached into his backpack and tossed his lighter to the other man.

"Thanks," the man said, lighting a cigarette and then closing the gap between them to return the lighter. "I'm Jon, by the way."

"We've... met, yeah?" Colin asked, holding out his hand, anyway. "You're working on the show?"

"Of course." Jon grinned and took a long drag off his cigarette. "I help with the props. I think you're an actor, right? One of the extras?"

Colin couldn't help but smile. "Yeah," he played along. "Yeah, I'm hoping to get a line by the end of the series. Can you introduce me to the writers? Maybe a good shag would convince them."

Jon chuckled. "That's naughty. I thought you were the sweet and innocent one."

Colin stabbed out his cigarette on the side of the truck. "Things aren't always as they seem."

Jon hummed in agreement and stared thoughtfully at Colin as he continued smoking. Colin cleared his throat awkwardly and knelt down to dig in his backpack for another cigarette, deciding he could forgo lunch. He was too anxious to be hungry, anyway. When he stood back up and lit his second smoke, Jon was still staring at him. He had hoped the other man would walk away if the conversation stopped.

"How's your day going, then?" Jon prompted after a minute or two of silence.

Colin shrugged and loudly exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Really good, I think."

"Where're your friends?"

Colin frowned and glanced at his backpack, thinking about his mobile and his friends from back home. "My friends?"

"The blond one... and the girls."

"Oh, you mean - I think they're at lunch."

Jon gave Colin another long look and Colin looked away pointedly. "I take it you don't eat lunch."

Deciding to ignore this jab about his slight frame, Colin took another drag and tapped the ash off the end of his cigarette.

"I was kidding," Jon offered, sounding somewhat apologetic. "My sense of humor is an acquired taste."

"I've been told the same," Colin said, smiling slightly. "You should have seen what it was like during read-throughs with Bradley. I was so nervous - I talk a lot when I'm that nervous - and I was trying to be funny. His lips didn't twitch once. I thought he was going to hate me forever."

Jon grinned. "Well, there's still time."

Colin opened his mouth, then thought better of it and chose to smile instead. He finished off his cigarette and tossed it onto the ground.

"What are the chances my costume won't smell like smoke?"

"Pretty good, as long as you use your magic." Jon dropped his own cigarette next to Colin's and stepped on them both. "Is this a secret, then?"

"Erm... sort of."

"Well, your sort of secret's safe with me. My boyfriend doesn't even know I smoke."

Colin raised an eyebrow. "How do you manage that?"

"Spray," Jon answered, grinning. "For my clothes. And gum for my breath."

"Seems like a lot of trouble for someone you're supposed to share things with..."

"He'd leave me if he knew," Jon said simply. Colin gave him a sympathetic look, but he shrugged it off. "I'm trying to quit. I'd rather be with him than die an early death."

"How romantic."

Jon winked. "What about you?"

"What about me? What would I rather do than die an early death?"

"No - your boyfriend. Does he know you smoke?"

Colin's insides burned in panic and he could feel his ears going red. "I don't have a boyfriend," he said, trying to sound confused and offended.

"How do you manage that?" Jon asked, smirking.

Colin cleared his throat, not sure what to say. He didn't think he liked Jon very much - the man was odd and very forward and quickly nosing too far into Colin's life.

"Well," he started talking without a plan for how to finish the sentence, "I'm not..."

"For someone so lovely - and so talented and so about-to-be-famous... I should think you'd be beating the boys off with a stick."

"What makes you think I like boys?" Colin asked, his alarm tipping over into anger at Jon's presumptions.

To his surprise, Jon's smug expression turned into one of wariness. "You... I'm so sorry - I thought - I didn't mean to offend you. I don't know why I thought that."

Colin stared down at the cigarette butts. "I'm not offended. Just... curious. What - what gave me away?"

Jon blinked stupidly at him. "Wait - _are_ you gay?"

"On most days," Colin answered casually, enjoying seeing Jon wrong-footed.

Jon frowned and stared at Colin for a long moment before adopting a sly smirk. "You're too delicate not to like boys."

"And you're too crass to attract women," Colin retorted.

"I've dated women," Jon said, leering at Colin. "They like my wit."

Colin snorted and pulled his mobile out of his backpack to check the time. "I have to head back," he said apologetically. He was starting to somewhat enjoy this bizarre banter. "I'm supposed to have my make-up retouched."

"They have their work cut out for them."

Colin grinned and shouldered his backpack. "I'm nothing compared to you," he said as he started walking away. "Maybe you should stop by and see if they can help you out. They've done wonders on Bradley."

"Git," Jon called out after him.

Colin waved goodbye as he entered the studio. He headed toward the make-up department and found Bradley already sitting in one of the chairs, waiting to be touched up.

"Where were you?" Bradley asked as Colin sat down in another chair and dropped his bag on the floor.

"I took a walk," Colin explained, cracking his knuckles and watching the door for the make-up artists.

"Did you eat?"

Colin nodded vaguely and pulled out his mobile to text his brother.

  
_I met a prop guy who found me smoking and outed me in about five minutes._   


When he looked up, Bradley had headphones in and was staring down at the floor. Colin picked at his sleeve, waiting for his brother to respond. The make-up artists came in a minute later and started poking his face with all sorts of mysterious tools.

His mobile vibrated in his lap as someone put what he suspected to be blusher on his cheekbones. He checked it, hoping the make-up people wouldn't read over his shoulder.

  
_You found a proper guy? Who'd he tell about your perversion?_   


Colin smiled and wrote back quickly.

  
_A prop guy. He's a guy who works in the prop department. You know, sets and objects and things. He didn't tell anyone - just outed me to himself. Thought you'd like to know so you can settle your bet with Dad._   


His brother's next text came quickly.

  
_You've just helped me win a case of beer. Cheers!_   


Colin sniggered and dropped his phone into his bag.

"What are you laughing about?" Bradley asked.

Colin glanced at Bradley in the mirror and saw that he'd taken out his headphones.

"Just texting my brother."

Bradley frowned at him. "You've never mentioned a brother."

"I haven't?"

"No." Bradley pouted ridiculously and Colin couldn't help but stare at his lips. "I've told you about my sisters. Why've you been keeping your brother a secret?"

"I wasn't doing it on purpose," Colin insisted. "His name's Neil. He's older and he's got all sorts of bets going with our dad about me and the show."

"Bets? Like... like how long before the producers realize they made a huge mistake by hiring a scrawny Irish git and replace you with Daniel Radcliffe?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"Can I get in on these bets? I could do with some cash."

"My family doesn't bet money - we bet beer."

"Even better! You don't seem the type to drink beer, though."

"Why not?" Colin asked, closing his eyes as someone started poking around his eyelids.

"Dunno. You're too... too..."

"Delicate?" Colin asked, smiling to himself.

Bradley made a disgusted noise. "Mate, you're not delicate. Scrawny, yes, but delicate..."

Colin shrugged and opened his eyes to look at Bradley in the mirror again. "I drink beer."

"Excellent." Bradley grinned at him. "Let's find a pub after shooting, yeah?"

Colin's smile faltered slightly. "Well, I don't drink while I'm working, but I'll come along anyway, if you don't mind it."

"You don't drink while you're working?" Bradley repeated, speaking slowly. "We're filming for eight months!"

"I know," Colin said with a shrug. "I haven't had anything to drink since we started rehearsing."

"Eight months!"

"Yes, Bradley," Colin said, smirking. "Eight months without drinking."

"Mental." Bradley shook his head and hopped out of his chair. "I'll see you in a minute," he said as he headed toward the set.

  
**~**   


When they arrived at the pub, Colin was slightly horrified to see Jon and several other crew members already seated at a table. He hoped Bradley would leave them be and was about to suggest a small table in an opposite corner when Bradley spotted them and waved.

"Mind if we join?" Bradley asked the table, already grabbing two chairs from nearby. "Merlin bonding time?"

"Of course," Jon answered for the group at large, grinning up at Colin, who smiled hesitantly as Bradley placed a chair next to him and gestured for Colin to sit.

Colin sat in between Jon and Bradley and shed his jacket. Bradley excused himself after a few minutes of awkward small talk and returned a moment later with two beers.

"I told you I don't drink," Colin muttered as Bradley pressed the glass into his hand.

"Bugger." Bradley took the glass back. "I forgot. Sorry, mate. Erm, anyone fancy this?"

"I'll take it," Jon said happily, sliding the glass across the table. "Early start?" he asked Colin.

"No, I just... don't partake while I'm working."

Jon raised his eyebrows and took a sip of the beer. "Stranger every minute, you. What else don't you do?"

His eyes twinkled and Colin blushed slightly. "I don't spill secrets to co-workers, for one."

"What _will_ you do to a co-worker?"

Colin glanced at Bradley, who was telling some apparently hilarious story to the rest of the table. No one seemed to be paying him or Jon any attention. He directed his gaze back to Jon's smirk.

"Nothing," he said firmly. "I don't date co-workers. Besides, you said you've got a boyfriend."

Jon laughed. "So?"

"So, does he know you flirt this much with other men?"

"I'm not flirting," Jon said innocently. "I'm making conversation. I'm interested in you. I want to know your limits."

"My limits?" Colin repeated, caught off guard.

"I want to push them."

Colin stared at Jon, completely confused. Jon smiled in a self-satisfied way and continued drinking his beer. Colin settled for rolling his eyes and turning to listen to Bradley's story.

Bradley was riveting. His wide mouth, huge lips, and crooked teeth made for a winning grin as he spoke of two girls he used to date and how they ganged up on him once they found out about his infidelity. Colin found the crude story hard to believe - Bradley looked the type to try to juggle two girls, but even though Colin hadn't known him for long, Colin knew he had a kinder heart than that. So, instead of listening to all the made-up horrible things the girls had done to get revenge on Bradley, Colin tuned out the story and focused on the way Bradley held everyone's attention. He was beautiful and so confident - he was friendly and inclusive and he _knew_ how to tell a good story. He spoke with his hands and his whole face, with all its bizarre and goofy expressions. He grabbed onto the crew member next to him and pretended she was one of the girls, delivering his punch line to her pleasantly surprised face.

"I want some air," Jon suddenly whispered in Colin's ear. Colin froze to prevent himself from turning in surprise and knocking his head into Jon's, but couldn't stop the warm shiver than ran down his spine at the breath on his neck. "Come with."

Colin cleared his throat as Jon stood and left the pub. He glanced at the other crew members and none of them appeared to have noticed their friend leaving - they were all still staring avidly at Bradley. Colin wanted to stay - he wanted to watch Bradley. He, too, found his co-star intoxicating. But Jon had beckoned and Colin knew he should remove himself from the situation before he grew _too_ interested in Bradley. He didn't date co-workers, after all. Not to mention the fact that Bradley was dead straight.

He excused himself politely and nearly made it to the door before Bradley called after him.

"Colin! Where're you going?"

Colin turned slowly and saw the whole table staring at him, except for the girl next to Bradley, who kept her eyes on Bradley's lips.

"Erm... fresh air," Colin mumbled, feeling extremely foolish. He knew they were bound to notice that Jon was gone as well.

"You're coming back?" Bradley asked, frowning slightly.

Colin nodded before turning around to leave, wondering why Bradley even cared. He hadn't spared more than five words for Colin since they came into the pub.

Jon was, as Colin knew he would be, smoking outside the pub. He handed his pack of cigarettes to Colin, who took one out and stuck it between his lips, hoping no one would come looking for them. Jon lit it for him and he tried not to blush as he felt like a Hollywood starlet.

"What's the deal with you and him?"

Colin blinked and exhaled into Jon's face. "What?"

"You and Beefcakes."

Colin started to laugh as he inhaled and wound up coughing. "Beefcakes?" he asked incredulously.

"Sure." Jon grinned in amusement as Colin continued coughing out smoke. "We've given you all nicknames."

"We being the crew?" Colin asked, wary of this news. Jon nodded. "And Bradley's is... Beefcakes."

Jon grinned. "It was my idea."

"I'm sure it was," Colin mumbled and coughed one last time before taking another drag off his cigarette.

"Don't you want to know what yours is?"

"Not particularly."

Jon shrugged and Colin was pleased to see him drop the subject. "So, what's he like, then?"

"Who, Bradley?"

"No, Beefcakes."

" _Bradley_ is nice. He's really friendly and talkative and sort of... in your face. A lot. He's pretty much always in my face when we're filming. But as soon as we're done, he's... we haven't quite... well. We don't know each other that well, yet."

"But you agree that he's a beefcakes."

"Well, I don't know what a beefcakes is," Colin said flatly, "but he's not too hard on the eyes, no."

"It's really too bad you don't date co-workers, then."

Colin snorted. "Right, because _that's_ why we're not dating."

Jon shrugged. "Personally, I think you should go for it."

Colin nodded in mock consideration. "Yeah, maybe you're right. I mean, it doesn't _really_ matter that he doesn't fancy men."

"Are you sure?" Jon asked slyly. "He seems the type."

"The type to do what exactly?"

"Shag a bloke."

Colin rolled his eyes. "I don't know what you were watching in there, but I very clearly saw him flirting with that girl from the costume department."

Jon grinned. "Ah, there's where you're wrong. What _actually_ happened was that _she_ \- Marcy, by the way - _she_ was flirting with _him_."

"Right."

Jon shrugged and lit a new cigarette with the butt of the first. He offered another to Colin, but Colin shook his head. He didn't want to press his luck.

"So, who's your boyfriend?" he asked, trying to move the conversation away from Bradley.

"Name's Jake. He's a teacher, here in Cardiff."

"Are you both Welsh, then?" Colin asked, wondering if he'd misplaced Jon's accent.

"No, I'm English. He's Welsh, though."

"Do you live here normally?"

"Yeah, I've been here... eight years, nearly. I went to uni here, so..."

Colin nodded and finished off his cigarette, then tossed it into the street. "How long have you been with him?"

"About..." Jon jokingly checked his watch. "Maybe three months. It's not that serious, yet."

"Serious enough that you've hidden your smoking habit for three months out of fear that he'd leave you," Colin pointed out. "And serious enough that you're quitting for him."

"Does it really look like I'm quitting?" Jon asked dully, sticking his cigarette between his lips and leaving it there.

"But, you said..."

"I say a lot of things."

"Fair enough," Colin said after a long silence. He really didn't know what to make of Jon - in some moments, Jon was funny and sarcastic, but in others, he was sulky and serious. Colin found it very hard to navigate a conversation with him.

"We had a fight just before I left to come here," Jon admitted, staring down at the pavement. "It wasn't a big deal, but... it probably won't last much longer. It wasn't that serious to begin with, so..."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear it," Colin said kindly. Whatever he might say about the relationship not being serious, Jon looked and sounded pretty cut up about the fight.

Jon shrugged and spat his cigarette onto the ground. "It happens. Most relationships aren't meant to last."

"I guess you could look at it that way. Personally, I prefer not to because that's bloody depressing, but hey. To each his own."

Jon yawned and coughed. "Fancy going back in?"

"Might as well."

Inside, Bradley was on his second beer and telling a story about one of his football mates. Jon and Colin settled back into their seats and Bradley stopped mid-sentence to turn and look at them.

"Where've you been?" he asked suspiciously.

Colin widened his eyes innocently. "Outside for air - I told you."

"I didn't realize you had company."

Colin shrugged. "What story are you telling now?"

Bradley rolled his eyes. "I don't even know," he said in a low voice. "Very dull, this lot. Let's get back to the hotel."

"All right," Colin agreed, startled.

He and Bradley excused themselves politely and left the pub without any of the crew following them out. Colin glanced back to wave at Jon when they reached the door and saw Marcy staring at Bradley's retreating back.

"You've got a fan in there," he said casually as they started walking to their hotel.

Bradley shrugged. "Yeah. We'll see. They're not as interesting as they think."

"Really? You looked like you were having fun entertaining them."

Bradley shrugged again. "Sure. They just weren't entertaining _me_ , is all." He yawned loudly and smacked his lips. "How was your first day?"

"You tell me - you were there for most of it."

"True. Let's see... I'd give you a 4 out of 10."

"A 4! I'd say I deserve at least a 7."

"Why's that?"

"I remembered all of my lines in all of my takes. That's a lot more I can say for you."

To Colin's surprise, Bradley blushed. "Okay, that's fair. I'm not usually that bad, though... I was just nervous."

Colin laughed. "Sure."

"I was," Bradley said, frowning slightly.

"Oh - you're being serious?"

"Yeah... why? Can't I get nervous?"

"You just don't seem the nervous type," Colin said. "You're so..." He waved his hands around in front of him. "Out there. Confident."

"It's a loud and fairly false confidence. The louder I am, the less confident I feel."

"Okay, I _know_ that wasn't serious."

Bradley cracked a grin. "Okay, okay. But I was nervous today. I'll be better tomorrow."

"I thought you did well, though. I wouldn't have guessed you were nervous."

"That's why I went to acting school," Bradley said, grinning. "This job is just a lark. I use my training to deceive people in real life."

Colin snorted as they rounded a corner. "What other lies are you telling, then?"

"All that rubbish about the two girls back at the pub."

"Well, obviously," Colin said, surprised Bradley had admitted to it so quickly.

"What do you mean?" Bradley asked, pretending to be offended. "It was a very convincing story! Detailed and everything."

"It was detailed, yes," Colin agreed. "But you're clearly not the type to date two girls."

"And why not?"

"You're far too dim-witted," Colin said, deciding to go with an insult rather than the truth of thinking Bradley too genuine. "There's no way you'd be able to keep all your lies straight. I wouldn't even give you a week before you shouted the wrong name in bed."

Bradley smiled tiredly and nudged Colin's shoulder. "You're hurting my feelings."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't realize you had any of those. Want me to kiss it better?"

"All over?"

Colin stumbled slightly. "What the hell kind of response is that?"

"The kind I used to give my mum."

"You asked your mum to kiss it better _all over_?"

Bradley grinned proudly and Colin realized how gullible he'd just been. He rolled his eyes and Bradley sniggered before bursting into song.

As far as Colin could tell, it was a Beatles song, but Bradley had either forgotten the original lyrics or simply preferred writing his own, because only the melody was recognizable. Colin was tired and amused, so he let Bradley sing uninterrupted for the rest of their walk. Bradley, clearly very adept at keeping himself entertained, sang through three Beatles songs before they reached the hotel. Each song had new lyrics, mostly, Colin realized, about their new co-stars. Colin's favorite was Bradley's rendition of "Lady Madonna," which had new and somewhat lazy lyrics: "Lady Morgana, evil at the core. Something something something something, bosoms galore!"

  
**~**   


The next day, it was lunch time before Colin saw Bradley again. He had spent the whole morning filming scenes with Richard Wilson, who was intimidating to work with because he was so old and experienced, but who was also incredibly kind to Colin.

Colin was about to grab an apple and sneak off for a smoke when Bradley flagged him down and invited him to a table.

"I was going for a walk, actually," Colin said, trying not to sound guilty.

"Come on, sit down," Bradley insisted, plopping himself down in a chair. "You didn't eat yesterday."

"I did," Colin lied.

Bradley raised an eyebrow. "Your stomach was growling all afternoon." He pulled out the chair next to him and gestured for Colin to sit. "Have lunch with me."

Colin sighed and sat down. "I'll stay for a bit," he said, to clarify. "But I really do need a walk."

"For what? You need to mark your territory and shit on the lawn?"

"Yes, actually," Colin said, pulling the stem out of the apple before biting into it.

"Where do you walk? I'll join you."

Colin shook his head quickly, but immediately regretted it when he saw the awkward disappointment on Bradley's face. "I just - I like to clear my head. You know, take a break in the middle of the day... just... some alone time to think and... go over my lines and the scenes and stuff."

Bradley nodded. "You're a nerd."

Colin choked slightly on his apple. "Pardon?"

"You're a nerd," Bradley repeated. "You're using your lunch break to do homework."

"Well..." Colin had no reply.

"And you've got big ears."

Colin sighed and stood up. "Well, it was nice having lunch with you," he muttered before setting off at a jog.

People had been poking fun at Colin's ears for his entire life. He'd gotten used to ignoring it, but sometimes it still bothered him. It wasn't the same as teasing him about his skinniness or his nerdiness or his accent. He couldn't control or change his ears - he had always found it cruel that people laughed at them.

As he found a secluded spot behind a truck in the car park, he ran his hands through his hair and cursed his stupid bowl cut for the millionth time. He much preferred the longer, shaggier hairstyle he'd had before filming had started. At least before he could shake his hair over his ears - now his hair stopped just above them and drew attention to them, or so he felt.

Colin held his half-eaten apple in one hand and his cigarette in the other, alternating between the two. It was a poor excuse for a lunch - he knew this. But he really wasn't in the mood to sit down and eat after his conversation with Bradley.

"You should really quit," Jon's voice scolded him from nowhere.

Colin turned to see Jon rounding the truck, a half-smoked cigarette already hanging between his lips.

"You as well," Colin said without expression.

"I am trying."

Colin scratched his nose. "You should really try to get your story straight on that one."

Jon grinned. "No, I am trying, now. Jake and I made up last night... I even confessed the filthy habit. Of course, he said he'll leave me if I don't quit, so..."

"So you're making an effort."

"I'm making an effort."

"Well. Good for you." Colin gave Jon a tight-lipped smile, then continued smoking in silence.

"Bad day?" Jon asked, flicking his cigarette butt under the truck.

"No," Colin said slowly. "I'm just... trying to concentrate." He settled for a lie. "You know, get in the right mind-set for the next scene."

"So actorly."

"Is that even a word?"

"Probably not." Jon clapped a hand on Colin's shoulder. "Don't work too hard, now," he said, smiling. "This job's supposed to be fun."

Colin nodded but said nothing as Jon disappeared again.

  
**~**   


To his relief, most of Colin's afternoon was spent shooting scenes by himself. He didn't have to face Bradley after embarrassing himself by walking away from their conversation, he didn't have to work with the alarmingly kind Richard, he didn't even have to endure Angel's never-ending sweetness. All he had to deal with was the director and a few cameramen.

He thought he was in the clear when he reached his hotel room without running into any cast or crew members. He had just started undressing and was looking forward to a nice evening alone when there was a knock on his door.

Zipping his jeans back up, Colin pressed his eye to the keyhole and saw Bradley standing out in the hallway. He sighed and unlocked the door, letting Bradley in without saying anything.

"I'm sorry about lunch," Bradley began without preamble. "I didn't mean to actually insult you."

Colin closed and locked the door, then shook his head. "It's not your fault. I'm sorry for getting upset. I don't usually do that."

Bradley cracked a smile. "I didn't know you were capable of getting upset. _Was_ that even upset? That seemed more like... mildly irritated. Not even that, really. Slightly tired, at worst."

Colin fought to keep his lips from twitching. "I was raving, actually."

"Could have fooled me," Bradley said, grinning and sitting himself on the edge of Colin's bed. "What are you up to this fine evening?"

"I was planning a quiet night in, actually," Colin said, smiling politely. "I've got a bit of an early call tomorrow and I wanted to read over my lines..."

To Colin's surprise, Bradley's eyes lit up. "Want to run them together?"

"Oh - I - sure." Colin watched as Bradley let himself out of the room again.

While Bradley was gone, Colin got himself a glass of water and pulled out his script. He had wanted the evening alone, but Bradley had been enjoyable company on their way home from the pub the night before. Maybe socializing with his co-stars wasn't a horrible idea, even if he was usually much more antisocial with people he didn't know. He found that it took a lot of energy to keep up appearances with new acquaintances, and he didn't always feel like putting on a show. On the other hand, if _Merlin_ turned into the success they were all hoping for, he was bound to be spending a lot of time with Bradley over the next few years - they might as well get to know each other now and spare the energy later.

Bradley returned with his script, several bottled drinks, a bag of crisps, a jar of dip, and a plastic-wrapped sandwich.

"Are we having a picnic?" Colin asked, watching Bradley unload his arms onto Colin's bed.

"Dinner," Bradley said proudly, tossing the sandwich to Colin. "Figured we could make a night of it."

Colin stared suspiciously at the sandwich. "Where'd this come from?"

"Catering," Bradley said, sitting down and trying to open the dip. "I grabbed it at lunch."

Colin unwrapped it slowly, inspected the contents, then set it down on the bed. "Thanks."

"You don't want it?" Bradley asked. The jar of dip opened with a _pop_.

"I can't," Colin said, feeling guilty at the disappointed look on Bradley's face. "It's got turkey."

"Well... yeah!"

"I'm vegetarian," Colin said quietly. He was pretty sure he'd mentioned this to Bradley before.

Bradley smacked himself on the forehead and Colin raised an eyebrow at this cliche gesture. "I forgot, mate. Sorry!"

"It's no problem," Colin said quickly. "I'll eat the crisps. You go ahead and have the sandwich."

"You can't only eat crisps for dinner," Bradley protested.

"Isn't that what you were going to do?"

"Actually, I was going to suggest Chinese."

Colin's stomach growled and Bradley grinned. "Chinese it is," Colin agreed.

  
**~**   


"You're joking," Bradley pleaded as Colin nearly rolled off the bed with laughter. "You're _joking_."

"I'm not!" Colin managed, clutching his sides. "Honest - Beefcakes!"

"Beefcakes," Bradley muttered mutinously. "What's yours, then?"

"Hm?" Colin asked, attempting to sit up and compose himself.

"Your stupid nickname."

"I didn't ask," Colin said, grinning widely. "But I can't imagine it's any worse than Beef-"

"You'll never say that word again," Bradley commanded, suddenly channeling his TV character.

Colin held his hands up innocently. "Come on, that can't be the worst nickname you've ever had. It's sort of flattering, isn't it?"

Bradley snorted. "It's _not_ flattering. It's - it's..."

"Flattering," Colin said decisively. "I can think of worse things they could call you."

"Such as?"

"Blow Job Bradley James?"

Bradley's mouth dropped open in shock. "Bl...Blow Job Bradley James?"

"What?" Colin smiled innocently. "I can't be the first person to notice your initials."

"Well - no, but... but you're not allowed to say 'blow job!'"

Colin snorted. "Why not?"

"Because it's - you're - I..." Bradley's eyes narrowed and he stared accusingly at Colin. "Sometimes, I don't believe I know you."

This time, Colin's mouth dropped open. "Was that... _Sound of Music_?"

Bradley grinned and clapped his hands together in triumph. "Ha! Loser! You recognized that quote in a second."

" _I'm_ the loser? You're the one who quoted it!"

Bradley shrugged and reached for the crisps, grabbing a handful and plunging one into the dip. He chewed it loudly, then handed the bag to Colin.

"No, thanks," Colin said politely, setting the bag down between them on the bed.

"They haven't got meat in them," Bradley teased.

Colin smiled. "I know. I'm just not hungry. I don't know how you could be - you ate twice as much Chinese as I did."

"I've got to maintain my Beefcakes status, don't I?" Bradley asked, dipping another crisp into the dip. "And you've got to maintain your scrawny git status, I suppose."

Colin chuckled and picked up his script from the nightstand. "What do you say we actually run lines?"

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

Colin checked his watch. "We've just had two hours of play."

Bradley sighed dramatically before sitting himself up near the pillows and grabbing his script off the floor. "Let's start with the sex scene, shall we?"

Colin rolled his eyes and opened to the first scene they were scheduled to shoot in the morning. "I'm putting on your armor."

"That's the opposite of a sex scene," Bradley muttered, turning to the same page. "You're supposed to be taking _off_ my clothes, not-"

Colin cleared his throat and Bradley winked at him.

"You do know the tournament starts today?" he read dutifully, though in an inexplicably Australian accent.

Colin played along and recited his lines in what he hoped was a passable Russian accent.

  
**~**   


"Why is it the boys keep bonding without us?" Katie asked Angel the next morning in the make-up room. Colin, who was sitting between the girls, looked over at Bradley, who was sitting next to Katie with his headphones in.

"How do you mean?" Angel asked, clearly confused by Katie's feigned ignorance of Colin and Bradley's presence in the room.

"They're going out for drinks, staying up late in each other's hotel rooms-"

Colin cleared his throat and Angel suppressed a giggle.

"Yes, Colin?" Katie prompted.

"I'm sitting right here," he pointed out. "And we weren't _staying up late in my hotel room_. We were running lines."

"You only have two scenes together today," Katie pointed out.

"Do you have something against rehearsing, McGrath?" Bradley asked, pulling his headphones out of his ears as the make-up artists walked in.

"No," Katie said pompously. "If that's what the kids are calling it these days."

Colin cleared his throat again.

  
**~**   


"Is this our new _thing_ , then?" Jon asked as he approached Colin's hiding place in the car park that afternoon.

Colin shrugged as he lit his cigarette. "I wouldn't call it that, but..."

"What would you call it then?"

"You stalking me."

"You've got a big head, already! A stalker for the star of _Merlin_... and we haven't even finished filming the first episode." Jon shook his head admonishingly as he lit his own cigarette.

Colin smiled. "You're pathetic. Stalking a younger man when you've got a boyfriend."

"How old are you?" Jon asked suspiciously.

"Twenty-two. What are you, like... 40?"

"Twenty-six, thanks. And the boyfriend part is negotiable."

"Nego - what's that supposed to mean? I thought you said you'd made up."

Jon shrugged nonchalantly. "We'll see."

"You're so confusing," Colin muttered on an exhale.

"And you're so intriguing."

Colin snorted. "I'm not," he insisted. "I'm fairly normal."

"Fairly. But not entirely."

Colin conceded this with a shrug as he tossed his half-finished cigarette onto the ground. "I'm going to grab some lunch," he said as he walked back toward the studio.

"Look who's deigned to grace us with his presence," Bradley teased as Colin sat down with him, Angel, and Katie.

"Hold the applause, please." Colin winked.

"Is that all you're eating?" Bradley asked, pointing at the salad on Colin's plate with disgust.

Colin nodded, stuck his fork through some lettuce, and bit into his lunch.

"What do you mean, 'is that all?' That's a big salad," Katie defended him.

Bradley scoffed. "It doesn't matter how big it is, that's _not_ a meal."

"Boys. Uncultured swine," Katie told Angel.

"I'm not uncultured," Colin protested. "I'm the one eating the big salad."

Angel snorted into her drink.

"That wasn't a euphemism," Colin said flatly.

"What could that even be a euphemism for?" Bradley asked, looking alarmed.

Colin stared down at his salad, wondering if he could subtly ruffle his hair to attempt to cover his burning ears. He prayed Angel and Katie would drop it, but knew he was unlikely to have such luck.

"Don't tell me you've never heard of tossing the salad?" Katie said teasingly.

Colin could feel his blush spreading from his ears to his cheeks as Katie snorted again.

"That's not a thing," Bradley protested. "You're just making up disgusting euphemisms to make me look stupid."

"Let's ask Angel," Katie decided. "Angel, _you've_ heard of tossing the salad, right?"

"Mhm," Angel confirmed, apparently laughing too hard to speak.

Colin continued staring down at his salad, cursing his choice in food. He should have just stayed outside with Jon and smoked a few more dozen cigarettes. He hadn't even finished one and was starting to think that had been a mistake - he was already craving more nicotine.

" _Colin_ ," Katie said, the mischief in her voice unmistakable. "Have _you_ heard about tossing the salad?"

Colin forced himself to look up and meet her gaze. He shrugged. "I don't know," he lied pointlessly. Katie was grinning widely at his blush. "Probably at some point."

Katie made a skeptical noise before turning back to Bradley. "It means licking someone's arse."

Bradley choked on his sandwich and Colin excused himself quickly, saying he needed the toilet. He headed back outside, found an isolated spot on the opposite side of the car park from where he usually stood, and smoked three more cigarettes.

  
**~**   


"Let's go out for dinner," Bradley said when Colin opened his hotel room door that evening.

Colin smiled politely and wracked his brain for good excuses not to go. Bradley grinned widely at him and Colin's mind stayed completely blank.

"Well?"

"All - all right."

Bradley pushed his way into the room as Colin turned to put on his trainers.

"Where do you want to go?" Bradley asked, picking up Colin's wallet from the top of the dresser. He opened it and started pulling out cards and receipts.

"You didn't already have a place in mind?" Colin asked as he sat on the edge of his bed and tied up his laces.

"Not really. I'm not familiar with the area. I'm sure we can find a place. What are you in the mood for?"

"Anything but salad," Colin muttered, standing up and putting on his jacket.

Bradley grunted in appreciation for this sentiment, tossed Colin his wallet, and ushered him out the door.

"Should we invite the girls?" Colin asked as they walked down the hallway.

"What, you think you were my first choice for dinner company?"

Colin frowned slightly, trying to work out if Bradley was joking. "Erm-"

"Kidding," Bradley said, rolling his eyes and knocking into Colin, who stumbled and bumped into the wall. "Lightweight."

Colin rubbed his shoulder and chose to say nothing as they left the hotel and started walking along the pavement.

"Tell me something," Bradley suggested as they rounded a corner.

"What?"

"Tell me something," Bradley repeated. "Anything. Come on."

"I... I hate... mole people."

Bradley made an offended noise. "You hate homeless people?"

"What? No! Mole people. You know... people... who... are moles."

"Mole people," Bradley said slowly. "You hate... _mole people_. Literal people who are moles."

"Yeah," Colin said. "I hate them. They're racist and... and they cheat on all their algebra quizzes."

Bradley cleared his throat awkwardly. "Want to try here?" he asked, gesturing at a building they were approaching.

"Sure."

The pub was small and dimly lit, but fairly empty. Colin's stomach growled impatiently as he and Bradley scanned the menu - he forgot he hadn't eaten anything since his three bites of salad at lunch.

"You're eating lunch with me tomorrow," Bradley said decisively after they had ordered.

"I don't get a say in it?"

"No, you don't. I can hear your stomach from across the table. You're eating lunch with me tomorrow. We can sit away from the girls, if you like."

Colin smiled slightly and took a sip of his water. "Yes, Mum."

"I'm not your mum," Bradley protested, "but you haven't eaten a proper lunch since we started filming. Where do you even go?"

"I go for walks, I told you."

"Walks _where_? In the studio?"

"No, in the - in the car park."

Bradley raised one eyebrow and Colin reached for his water again. "You walk around the car park. What is wrong with you?"

"So many things," Colin said, smiling slightly. "Would you like a list?"

"That would spoil all the fun of getting to write my own list." Bradley laid his palm on the table and pretended to write on it with his other hand. "Hates mole people. Loves car parks. Never eats food."

"I eat food," Colin protested. "I'm going to eat this whole dinner, watch."

"Eating your whole dinner shouldn't be out of the ordinary," Bradley pointed out.

"Just because you're a huge beefcakes-"

Bradley pointed a finger in Colin's face. "I warned you last night about using that word."

Colin opened his mouth to say it again, but his mobile rang before he could get the word out. Bradley smirked and pulled out his own mobile to occupy himself. Colin fished in his pocket for his phone, saw his father's name on the screen, and answered.

"Hey, Dad."

"Colin!" His dad's cheerful voice barked in his ear. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Colin said, staring as Bradley started playing a game on his mobile. "I'm actually out... to dinner with a castmate. How're you?"

"I won't keep you long. I just wondered if there've been any more updates on our bets?"

Colin kept his eyes on Bradley's game. "Nothing new," he reported. "I'll let you know when things happen."

"See that you do. I'll let you go, now. Have fun on your date."

"It's not a date," Colin said quickly, but his father had already disconnected.

Bradley looked up, interested. "A date?"

"It's not a date," Colin repeated.

"But it could be a date."

Colin rolled his eyes. "If you want this to be a date, you're going to have to pay."

"You're so old-fashioned," Bradley said as his beer was delivered to their table. "Do you want the first taste?"

"I told you, I don't-"

"I know, I know," Bradley cut him off. "I always offer my dates the first taste."

"What..." Colin shook his head, trying to rid his brain of its confusion. "I didn't need to know that."

"Of course you did. If we're going to be dating, you should know about all my quirks."

"We're _not_ dating," Colin said firmly. "Don't you have a girlfriend or something?"

"No, why? Do you?"

"No."

"Then there's no reason this can't be a date. Unless you're gay."

Colin blinked. "Wait, what?"

"Well, we can't date if you're gay. It'd be all wrong."

Colin floundered for a moment. "I'm confused," he admitted.

Bradley grinned triumphantly. "Then I win."

"You-" Colin shook his head again, trying hard not to laugh. "You're ridiculous."

"You're the one who told me you hate mole people. I wanted sincerity - I'm trying to get to know you. And all you offered up was that you hate mole people. Mole people don't even exist, Colin!"

Colin laughed. "Well, how was I supposed to know you were being serious? You asked me to tell you something, so I did."

"Okay." Bradley put his hands firmly on the table and looked sternly at Colin. "Let's try this again. Hi, Colin. We're going to be spending a lot of time together in the next few months and I'd like to get to know you a bit better. Why don't you tell me about yourself?"

Colin bit back a smile and put his hands over Bradley's. "Darling," he said in his best English accent, "I'm a mole person."

Bradley sucked in his cheeks in a poor attempt not to laugh and pulled his hands out from under Colin's. "And _I'm_ the ridiculous one."

"You told me we couldn't date if I'm gay. We're both men!"

"Yeah, but I'm a _straight_ man, and I can't date a gay man! It'd be cruel! It only works as a joke if we're both straight." Bradley paused, apparently waiting for Colin to assure him that they were both straight.

Colin simply rolled his eyes and thanked the merciful pub gods for delivering their food to them in that moment and saving him the trouble of answering Bradley's unasked question.

"Remember what you promised," Bradley said threateningly as he placed a napkin in his lap.

"I don't remember promising anything," Colin said truthfully as he stirred his chilli with a spoon.

"You promised to eat your whole dinner."

"Yes, Mum."

Bradley sighed dramatically. "You know, I'm not sure I can date you if you keep calling me that. It's very off-putting."

"Sorry, Mum," Colin teased.

  
**~**   


Colin was texting his brother the next morning as he made his way through the studio to the make-up room. As he slipped his mobile back into his pocket, he heard Bradley say something that made him stop dead outside the door.

"Morgan isn't _gay_ , Katie. Jesus."

"Suit yourself," Katie said in her usual self-satisfied way. "But you saw the way he reacted to the salad thing yesterday."

"He was embarrassed. Hell, _I_ was embarrassed! Tossing the salad... for fuck's sake, McGrath, where do you come up with this stuff?"

" _I_ didn't come up with it," Katie laughed. "Angel and Colin had both heard of it."

"Colin hadn't," Bradley corrected.

"No, he most definitely had," Katie said, her tone dangerous. "Didn't you see the way he was blushing?"

"No," Bradley said pointedly.

"Well, if you're _that_ blind, no wonder you can't see that he's gay."

"He's not _gay_! I asked him last night - the man is straight."

There was a pause and Colin took a deep breath, trying to gather himself enough to go into the room.

"You asked him last night?" Katie repeated, sounding dumbfounded. "You asked him if he's gay? That's so tactless!"

"You have no right lecturing people on _tact_ , McGrath. And, _no_ , I didn't ask if he's gay. But I... _implied_ the question and he - listen, he's straight."

Colin's mobile went off and he cursed loudly in his own head as he pulled it out of his pocket and went into the room, trying to act as casual as possible.

  
_But Dad said it was a date._   


Colin stared down at his brother's text as he sat in a chair and ignored Katie and Bradley's hurried conversation about how difficult it was to walk in their costume cloaks.

  
_IT WASN'T A DATE._   


  


  
[   
](http://shoppery.livejournal.com/2420.html)   


He sent back the text and then turned off the phone and shoved it into his pocket.

"Morning, Colin," Katie said cheerfully.

"Morning," Colin replied, relieved to hear his voice sounding normal instead of mortified. "Where's Angel?"

"She's not due in for another hour," Katie explained.

"Lucky," Bradley muttered. "Wish I could have a lie-in."

"Yes," Katie said sarcastically. "You're life is so difficult. Boo hoo."

Bradley sneered at her and then put in his headphones. Colin stared down at his hands, praying for the make-up artists to show up sooner rather than later.

"How was your dinner with Bradley?" Katie asked.

"It was all right," Colin said slowly, looking up to see Katie's innocent face. "Between you and me, he's a bit of a weirdo. He kept trying to convince me it was a date. Personally, I think _he's_ the gay one."

Katie's expression froze in horror as a blush crept across her pale skin. "I - you heard us?"

"I heard you," Colin said, keeping his voice calm.

Katie smiled awkwardly. "We were just joking." Colin raised an eyebrow skeptically. "All right, we weren't joking. I just thought... you seem so..."

"Does it matter how I seem?"

"No," Katie said quickly. "Of course not. Look, Colin, I'm sorry. You're right - it really doesn't matter. I shouldn't have been gossiping. I'm really sorry."

Colin found himself smiling, even though he still felt angry. "It's fine. Just, you know... watch what you say. Or at least watch who you say it to. I really don't need rumours."

"I know. If it makes you feel better, you can spread rumours about me. Tell everyone I snore."

Colin grinned. "That's not a rumour, love. I _know_ you snore."

"Rude!"

Colin laughed and reached across Bradley to hold out his hand. "Truce?"

Katie shook his hand. "Truce."

Bradley took out his headphones and looked between them. "Why are you shaking hands?"

"Besides," Colin said, settling back in his chair as the make-up artists finally arrived. "I'm telling you, it's _him_."

Katie laughed and Bradley spent the remainder of the morning trying to get them to tell him what the big joke was about.

  
**~**   


"We're definitely not sitting with them," Bradley muttered as he and Colin passed Katie and Angel's table at lunch. "Katie's been infuriating this morning."

"I think someone's got a crush," Colin teased as Bradley picked the farthest possible table and they sat down to eat.

"Very mature," Bradley muttered. "Don't think you weren't just as infuriating."

"But you're still eating with me," Colin pointed out. "I can only assume it's because you're a straight man and so you don't fancy me. Katie, on the other hand-"

"Might as well be the Afanc."

Colin grinned and started eating his salad.

"See?" Bradley said after a few minutes of silence. "Eating lunch isn't so bad."

"It could certainly be worse," Colin agreed. "I'm still going for my walk, though."

"You can't really call it a walk if it's just in the car park," Bradley pointed out. "More like a... sneaky car thief routine."

"Shit," Colin said, setting down his fork. "You've found me out. Promise not to tell?"

"You're secret's safe with me," Bradley said. " _If_ you let me join you on your walk."

Colin licked his lips. "Erm, I..."

"Wait," Bradley interrupted him. "Sorry, I just remembered what you said about clearing your head and stuff. My apologies."

Colin smiled. "It's no problem. I just like a bit of break sometimes."

"Perfectly understandable. Of course, this means I'll have to tell everyone about your car thieving."

"I'm innocent, I tell you," Colin insisted as he picked up his fork again. "Innocent!"

"Actually," Bradley said, and Colin looked up at the mischief in his voice. "If you tell me what you and McGrath have been giggling about all morning, I won't tell anyone you're planning to steal James Hawes' car."

Colin contemplated Bradley's fake blackmail for a moment and then nodded, agreeing. "All right. I've been trying to convince her that you're gay."

Bradley's face twisted into a comically confused look. "Why?"

"I heard her trying to convince you that _I'm_ gay this morning in make-up."

Bradley's expression turned serious. "You heard that?"

Colin shrugged. "Yeah, most of it. It's no big deal. I just, you know, told her she got the wrong guy. You're _clearly_ the gay one. All that talk about dating me last night."

Bradley rolled his eyes and continued eating his lunch. Colin did the same, shoveling salad into his mouth as quickly as he could. After a few minutes, his plate was empty and Bradley was only half-done with his sandwich.

"Just promise me you won't hot-wire the director's car without a foolproof escape plan," Bradley said as Colin stood and gathered his trash.

"I promise, Mum," Colin said, winking.

By the time he made it out behind his usual truck, Jon was lighting a second cigarette with the butt of his first.

"It's about time," Jon said dryly as Colin dropped his backpack and began digging around in it. "I thought maybe you'd gone and quit without me."

"No such luck," Colin said, standing with one cigarette and a lighter.

"Where were you, then?"

Colin lit his cigarette and inhaled deeply, then blew his smoke out in Jon's direction. "I had lunch with Bradley."

"Making friends?"

Colin shrugged. "I think so. His sense of humour is a bit off, but... then again, so's mine."

"A match made in heaven, then. Can I be your flower girl?"

"Sure," Colin agreed. "But I get to pick out your dress. I'm seeing lace. Lots and lots of frilly lace."

"Can't it be different from everything I already own?" Jon whinged.

"You're not supposed to argue with the bride. Jesus, you're doing this all wrong. You're fired."

"Does that mean we can sleep together now? Since I'm no longer in the wedding party and all..."

Colin chose not to respond to this. Instead, he pulled his mobile out of his backpack and checked to see if his brother had texted him back since that morning.

  
_Testy, testy. If you're that insistent about it not being a date, my only choice is to assume you hired a male prostitute to spend the evening with you. That's sick, little brother. Very sick. Not to mention pathetic._   


  


  
[   
](http://shoppery.livejournal.com/2420.html)   


Colin grinned and wrote back quickly, leaving the cigarette between his lips so he could smoke and text with both hands at the same time.

  
_Stop texting in full paragraphs, nerd._   


"Who's that?" Jon asked.

"My brother," Colin said, dropping the phone back into his bag.

"Does _he_ sleep with your co-workers?"

" _He_ is straight," Colin replied before finishing off his cigarette and tossing it away. "I've got to get back. See you tomorrow?"

"Same time, same place," Jon called after him as he headed for the studio doors.


	2. Part Two - France

"It's two and a half hours," Colin said, staring blankly at Bradley as he slid three bottles of champagne into his backpack. "Why don't you just... take a nap?"

"Nap?" Bradley asked incredulously. "Colin, it's seven o'clock."

"I'm just saying."

"Well, while _you're_ taking a nap, the rest of us will be celebrating."

"Celebrating the Eurostar?"

"Celebrating going to France, you idiot." Bradley straightened up and looked around. "Where's your friend? Why don't you go bother him instead?"

"What friend?" Colin asked, frowning. "Do you mean Richard?"

Bradley snorted. "No, your friend from props."

"Jon," Colin said, glancing around. "What makes you think we're friends?"

"Well, I see you chatting to him all the time on set. He's either your friend or your drug dealer." Bradley leaned in close to inspect Colin's eyes. "You're not high, are you?"

Colin shoved Bradley away lightly. "I might be... you never know." Bradley snorted and Colin shrugged. "I'll going to go look him."

Colin stepped away from Bradley, then made his way out of the train station. As he had thought, Jon was outside smoking.

"Excited?" Jon asked, tossing Colin a pack of cigarettes as he approached.

Colin pulled one out and let Jon light it for him. "Ecstatic," he answered honestly. "I can't wait to see the castle."

"Well, mate, you'll just have to wait until tomorrow like the rest of us."

"I think I can handle that," Colin said, grinning.

"Where're you sitting?"

Colin pulled out the ticket the producers had given him inside and showed it to Jon, who grinned.

"Same coach," Jon said. "Should be fun."

"I think everyone's more or less together," Colin explained, putting the ticket back into his pocket. "Bradley's with us, too. He's bringing champagne."

"I've got some wine," Jon said, gesturing at his bag. "Much classier."

Colin smiled. "Sounds like everyone is expecting a party."

"It's basically going to be a bar on wheels. Or... whatever it is the Eurostar has."

"I heard it runs on the tears of virgins."

Jon peered curiously at Colin. "What?"

"Oh, I - Bradley made that joke earlier." Colin shrugged and tried to control his blush by smoking more. "Dunno what he meant by it."

"You two should really get together," Jon said. "Your senses of humour belong together."

"Our senses of humour are fairly nonsensical," Colin explained. "Besides, he's not my type."

"What is your type?" Jon asked seriously.

"I prefer guys who are a little less... straight."

Jon snorted and tossed his cigarette into the street. "If you say so."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Colin demanded.

"It just seems - to me - like you fancy him a bit. That's all."

Colin frowned and continued smoking. He _did_ fancy Bradley - he found it very hard _not_ to fancy Bradley. Bradley was everything anyone could ever want - he was funny and confident and fit as hell... not to mention incredibly kind. He might play around with his friends and act cruel as a joke, but Colin knew - had known from the start - that Bradley had a heart of gold to match his ridiculous mop of hair.

"Bradley's straight," Colin said decisively. "I don't waste my time with straight guys."

"Good to know," Jon said, winking. "I'll meet you inside." He shouldered his bag and disappeared, leaving Colin to finish smoking in peace.

Colin pulled out his mobile and sent his brother a text.

_About to board the Eurostar. Heading off to France and I still haven't gone out with anyone from the show. I believe that means you owe me a bottle of whisky._

[ ](http://shoppery.livejournal.com/2420.html)

Neil's response came quickly.

_No, beer. A six-pack of beer. No whisky for you - you'll pass out after one sip._

[ ](http://shoppery.livejournal.com/2420.html)

Colin grinned and slipped his mobile back into his pocket. He finished his cigarette, took one last look around London, then headed back inside to board the train to France.

**~**

After forty-five minutes on the train, Colin hid himself in the empty back row of seats with his headphones and a book. He was tired - he honestly had been planning on a nap - and everyone was starting to get drunk. He liked everyone he worked with, but he wasn't sure he was ready to see them all drunk. Especially not when Bradley was telling his made-up stories about multiple girlfriends again.

He slipped his headphones in, picked some quiet music, and opened the book to where he'd last left off.

Less than twenty minutes later, Colin was considering closing his book and letting himself drift off. He reached up and adjusted the overhead light, making it dimmer.

"There you are," Jon announced as he slid into the seat next to Colin.

Colin looked up and took his headphones out. "Hey."

"I've been looking for you," Jon said quietly. "Why're you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding," Colin lied. "I'm just tired... wanted a bit of peace."

Jon sunk down in the seat and Colin followed suit. Now he couldn't see over the seat in front of him - and no one else could see him. It was a lot darker this far down. He closed his book and pulled out his iPod to pause the song he was no longer listening to.

"What sort of music do you like?" Jon asked, reaching for the iPod. Colin handed it to him and let him scroll through all the artists on it.

"Can we listen to some?" he asked after a minute or two. "I've been meaning to check out this band for a while."

"Sure," Colin said, handing Jon one of the earbuds. He fit the other one in his ear and waited for Jon to start playing the music.

**~**

"Colin. Wake up, Colin."

Colin opened his eyes and glanced around for the voice.

"You fell asleep," Jon explained from somewhere above Colin's head.

Colin shifted slightly, realized he was leaning on Jon - practically leaning _over_ Jon - and sat up quickly. "Sorry," he said sleepily, pulling out the earbud and rubbing his eyes. "Sorry. Where is everyone?" he asked, realizing that the entire coach was empty and dark.

"They went to the other coach, with Katie and Marcy and whoever else is sitting there. Anthony, I think."

Colin nodded and pushed himself up into a proper sitting position. His shoulders ached from being slumped down for so long. "Sorry I passed out on you."

"It's all right," Jon said quietly. "I was just listening to the music. I didn't even notice until the album ended and you didn't do anything."

Colin smiled and yawned. "Well. Did you want to go with everyone else? You don't need to keep me company while I sleep."

Jon smiled and shook his head. "I'm good here."

Colin yawned again and blinked a few times to wake himself up. Jon was sitting very close to him. Why hadn't Colin ever noticed how amazing Jon's eyes were before? They were a stunning shade of green. Stunning and - so close.

Before Colin could react, Jon leaned closer still and pressed their lips firmly together. Colin inhaled sharply through his nose and tried to lean back, but Jon's hand curled around his neck and held him in place.

"Sorry," Jon breathed as he broke the kiss. "You're just so-"

He cut himself off by kissing Colin again. Colin let himself relax into the kiss - it felt good and it'd been so long since he'd last kissed someone. Jon was warm and funny - and he hadn't mentioned his rocky relationship in a long time. Colin wondered if he should stop this, if he should pull back and ask if Jon was still dating the teacher, if he should pull back and suggest they continue when Jon was more sober.

Colin wasn't very good at being decisive when someone else had their teeth on his ear, or when they had their hands roaming over his back and sides. He found himself arching into Jon's touch, gasping at Jon's tongue dipping into his ear, unwilling to stop this from happening.

Jon's hand moved to Colin's thigh and Colin pulled back from Jon's mouth in order to get his own lips onto Jon's neck.

Jon hummed in appreciation as Colin sucked on his warm skin and finally got his hands in on the action. He explored Jon's wide, strong chest, ran his hands down to touch enticingly hard abdominal muscles, then snaked his arms around Jon's middle.

Colin shifted awkwardly in the seats, trying to get closer to Jon, trying to envelop himself in Jon's increasingly friendly warmth. During a particularly wet and desperate kiss, he found himself sitting on Jon's lap, straddling Jon's thighs, pressing into Jon's crotch and grinding -

Quiet laughter broke the thick silence and Colin panicked. He tried to leap away, chose the wrong angle, and fell into the aisle.

The door to their coach opened and Bradley and Angel came in, giggling.

"Colin!" Bradley exclaimed, not sounding particularly surprised or confused by finding his co-star on the floor. "We've come to kidnap you."

"Kidnap me?" Colin asked, getting to his feet and walking toward them.

"Everyone's been asking for you," Angel explained. "You should come hang out. There's only half an hour left, anyway."

"Erm - yeah. Yeah, all right." Colin didn't look back as he let himself be led out of the coach. "Did someone spike my water?"

"What?" Bradley asked, looking concerned.

Colin shrugged. "I don't know. I just feel... my head's all... fuzzy."

"Are you ill?" Angel asked, pressing her hand to his forehead as they entered the next coach.

"No," Colin said, waving to all of the co-workers who had just shouted at him in greeting. "It's probably just because I feel asleep. I'm so tired."

"Well, we don't have to be at the castle until noon tomorrow," Bradley said bracingly. "You can have a lie-in at the hotel."

Colin nodded and moved down the aisle to find other people to talk with. He needed a better distraction than Bradley's sweet concern or Angel's never-ending smile.

By the time the train stopped and they had all gotten off and grabbed their luggage, Colin had almost forgotten what had happened. All he was thinking about was the bus ride to the village they would be staying in, and the warm hotel bed that awaited him there. He just wanted to sleep - everything else could wait until morning.

But then Jon crawled into the bus seat next to him and put a hand on his thigh. He found it so distracting that he couldn't sleep, even though the bus ride took nearly an hour.

When everyone filed out of the bus, Colin muttered, "I'll see you tomorrow," to Jon, then grabbed his bags and went to check in without speaking to any more of his co-workers. He barely managed to get undressed before he crashed onto his hugely comfortable French bed and promptly fell asleep.

**~**

Colin took a long shower the next morning. He'd had a long and involved dream about Jon and Bradley dating each other, inviting him to have a threesome with them, and then tying him down and making him watch them have sex. He wanted to wash away the memory and the feeling of extreme sexual frustration, but all he could think about was how hot Jon and Bradley had looked together, and how amazing Jon's hands had felt on him the night before.

He didn't want to get off to thoughts of Jon's hand inching up his thigh, but he had to do _something_ about his persistent erection.

He had never been the type to wank in the shower. He much preferred long, uninterrupted evenings on his bed, where he could really enjoy himself. Not that he'd had much opportunity for alone time recently - not with Bradley knocking on his door almost every night to run lines or go out for dinner or play some idiotic (yet completely adorable) prank on Katie or Angel.

Colin clapped his free hand over his eyes as he stroked himself. He thought of Jon's hands gripping his sides and of Jon's teeth scrapping his ear - he did _not_ think of the way Bradley had moaned in his dream or of the perfectly sculpted arse his imagination had provided his blond co-star.

And when Colin came, groaning through clenched teeth, he definitely didn't think about what it would have been like if Bradley had been the one to snog him on the Eurostar.

**~**

The castle was really everything Colin could have hoped for - it was huge, it was beautiful, it was authentic, it was perfect in every way. He wanted time to explore it with Bradley and Bradley's stupid video camera, but his first day of filming there was packed. They shot the scenes of Arthur and Merlin's first interactions, which Colin found somewhat hard to do because they'd already filmed so many more scenes of Arthur and Merlin getting to know each other.

He found all of his scenes somewhat hard to do that day. He had hoped it wouldn't be a problem, but he was completely distracted by what had happened the night before. It was consuming him and he knew it was incredibly unprofessional, but he couldn't help it. Every time he saw Jon lurking around the courtyard or setting up the next scene or standing and talking to another crew member, Colin lost all his concentration.

He wanted to hate himself for letting it happen. He had a strict rule about being involved with co-workers - and for good reasons. None of his relationships had ended well, especially the ones initiated by the other person. He'd never been in a relationship he felt comfortable labeling as "healthy" - either the other person wanted him too much or he wanted the other person too much. His affairs never had the right balance, and that was why they always ended so horribly. Someone always ended up really hurt. Unfortunately, more often than not, Colin wound up being the bad guy. He'd been burned a time or two by guys who were somewhat out of his league, but he'd done more than his fair share of the burning, too.

Jon didn't seem the type to get hurt, though. As far as Colin could tell, Jon didn't have very many emotions. Mostly, he was just sarcastic, somewhat crude, and horny. Their friendship mostly consisted of them insulting each other. It was similar to his relationship with Bradley, except that Bradley seemed to genuinely care about him. Bradley always made sure Colin ate lunch, and he was always asking personal questions to get to know Colin better as an actor as well as a person. It was very obvious that Bradley cherished having a close friendship with his co-star. Jon, on the other hand, didn't seem overly close to any cast or crew members - with the possible exception of Colin.

When it was time for a dinner break before shooting some evening scenes, Colin started panicking. He hadn't yet spotted an isolated spot where he could smoke. As he and Bradley headed toward the catering trailer, he saw Jon clutching a pack of cigarettes and wandering off in the opposite direction. Colin stared after him, wondering if he should skip lunch in favor of chatting - and smoking - with Jon.

"I'm not very hungry," he told Bradley as they reached the trailer. "I think I'll just grab an apple and head off. I really want to explore."

"I wish you'd let me come with you," Bradley said, reaching into the fruit basket and tossing Colin an apple. "I really want to see more of the castle."

"Maybe tomorrow," Colin said.

He walked off before Bradley could respond. He felt guilty - all Bradley wanted to do was spend time with him, but all he wanted to do was smoke in private. As he went in search of Jon, Colin wondered what would happen if he let slip to Bradley that he was a smoker. Maybe Bradley wouldn't even care - maybe he wouldn't judge Colin all that harshly. Maybe Bradley would still offer to join Colin on his daily "walks." Maybe Colin would actually start taking walks during his breaks.

"Colin!"

Colin glanced around and saw Jon standing in a random stone archway. He waved and Colin headed over, looking around as he did to make sure they weren't in anyone's eyesight.

"How's your afternoon?" Jon asked as Colin pulled a cigarette out of his backpack and lit it quickly.

"Great," Colin lied. "This castle's so beautiful. It's ridiculous."

"Yeah," Jon agreed. "It's pretty perfect, isn't it?"

Colin nodded, still looking around to make sure no one could see them.

"Do you want to talk about last night?" Jon asked in a low voice.

Colin forced himself to make eye contact with Jon. "Erm... I suppose."

"Did it bother you?"

Colin couldn't help but laugh. "No," he said quickly. "It didn't bother me at all. Did it bother _you_?"

"Only in that I wasn't sure if you... if you wanted it to happen or if you were just... going along with the... poor decisions of a drunk man."

"Were you really that drunk?"

"No."

"Do you really think it was a poor decision?"

"You tell me," Jon said with a smirk. "You're the one who has all the professionalism rules. No dating, no drinking, no smoking..."

"Since when do I have a rule about no smoking?"

"No visible smoking," Jon corrected himself. "No smoking as far as everyone else knows."

Colin shrugged and chose to take a drag off his cigarette instead of responding.

"I'd like to kiss you again," Jon said bluntly, tossing his cigarette to the ground. "Sometime. If it doesn't bother you too much."

Colin twisted his lips in consideration of this offer. He knew he should say no and end things before they even had a chance to begin. It would be a lot easier and simpler that way - no one would get hurt, their working relationship wouldn't suffer, and he wouldn't have one more thing to hide from everybody else.

Before he could make up his mind, Jon was kissing him again. It was a wet, warm kiss that tasted of smoke. Colin wrapped his free hand around Jon's neck and slid his fingers into Jon's brown hair.

 _Well_ , Colin thought as Jon pinned him to the stone archway for a proper snog, _can't argue with that_.

**~**

By the time Colin got back to the hotel that night, he was ready to go to bed. He didn't want to run lines, he didn't want to take a shower, he didn't want to grab a snack. All he wanted to do was sleep so that he could get to the castle the next morning and be ready for a full day of filming.

However, as he crawled into his bed, there was a knock on the wall above his head. He looked up, confused, as the knocking grew louder.

Deciding there wasn't much else to do, Colin sat up and knocked back. The knocking from the other side continued and it occurred to Colin that Bradley's room was next to his - Bradley was on the other side of the wall.

Colin knew that Bradley was unlikely to stop knocking until Colin specifically asked him to, and the only way to do that was to get out of bed and go next door.

Sighing and damning Bradley's night owl habits, Colin rolled back out of bed, grabbed his room key, and went out into the hallway. He put his ear to Bradley's door and could hear that Bradley was still knocking on the wall. Colin rolled his eyes and knocked loudly on the door.

"You're very late," Bradley said, grinning, as he opened the door a moment later.

"How do you mean?"

"It's nearly midnight. How'd the shoot go?"

"It was long," Colin said dully. "Did you... want something or were you just knocking for fun?"

"I was trying to communicate."

"Do you know Morse code or something?"

"No." Bradley shrugged. "But it got you over here, so it sort of worked."

Colin shook his head, too tired to stop himself from laughing. "Right. Well... we've got a full day tomorrow, so..."

"I was wondering if you wanted to go over some scenes," Bradley said awkwardly. "But if you're tired..."

"I'm sorry," Colin said, unable to hold back a yawn. "I'm just exhausted from the shoot."

"You're just an old man," Bradley teased. "Go on, go sleep, then. I'll see you in the morning."

Colin smiled in thanks and returned to his room.

**~**

Colin woke up feeling very much awake, but running slightly late. He showered and dressed quickly, then went down to grab breakfast from the hotel. He packed a paper bowl with scrambled eggs and raced to meet the van before it left for the castle. Bradley made fun of him the whole way to the castle, commenting on Colin's still wet and messy hair and the somehow "rabbity" way he ate his eggs. Colin simply smiled and continued eating, wishing he had some toast and coffee.

The morning was beautiful - the sun was out, but it wasn't too hot. The cast and crew spent several hours shooting scenes in the courtyard. The amount of French extras wandering around the castle was slightly overwhelming. It was difficult for the crew to place so many people for each take.

By the time lunch came around, Colin was frustrated to find his energy waning. His stomach was also making strange sounds - he assumed it was because he was hungry. He hadn't eaten dinner the day before and all he'd had for breakfast was a few mouthfuls of runny scrambled eggs.

Colin sat with Bradley and started scarfing down a salad.

"What do you think of the whole 'true love's first kiss' nonsense?" Bradley asked in a casual tone.

Colin choked slightly on the water he was drinking. "Excuse me?"

"You know, Snow White and all that? Did it only work because it was true love on both ends? Or would it have worked if some nutter genuinely fell in love with a sleeping princess and kissed her? Do you think she still would have woken up?"

Colin took a large bite of his salad and chewed slowly, studying Bradley's expectant and contemplative face. He swallowed and took another sip of water before clearing his throat to answer.

"Did you secretly want to be a Disney princess when you were wee?"

Bradley grinned proudly. "Of course. Didn't you?"

"No," Colin said flatly. "I wanted to be the evil queen."

"Naturally."

Colin winked and finished off his salad. "I'm off for a walk," he said before taking one more sip of water. "See you in a bit."

"Can I come with this time?" Bradley asked, already standing to follow Colin. "You promised yesterday I could."

Colin paused, trying to remember _promising_ anything to Bradley. "I think I just said you could 'maybe' come with me," he said, giving Bradley a suspicious look.

"Come on, Cols," Bradley said, actually sticking out his lower lip. "It won't kill you. We can talk about the fight scene for tomorrow."

Colin clutched his backpack awkwardly. "I - I guess." He smiled weakly as Bradley dumped out their trash and followed him. He wracked his brain to come up with a plan to ditch Bradley - he really didn't want to have to smoke during a fake toilet break later that afternoon.

"Was that your stomach?" Bradley asked as they approached the archway where Colin had met with Jon the day before.

"Yeah," Colin said, placing a hand on his stomach as it made another noise. "It keeps doing that."

"You should eat more," Bradley said decisively.

"I just ate a huge salad," Colin protested.

"I wouldn't call it 'huge,' mate," Bradley said. "There's your friend."

Colin glanced over at the archway and saw Jon smoking and looking confused. Colin waved guiltily and Jon saluted in return.

"He looks awfully befuddled," Bradley pointed out as they walked past.

Colin murmured his agreement. "Yeah, I - I see him every day on my walk. He's probably confused that you're with me, is all."

"Is that why you smell like smoke after all your walks?" Bradley asked, glancing back at Jon. "Because you stop and talk with him?"

"I smell like smoke?" Colin asked, disappointed. He had tried to be careful, but obviously it hadn't worked.

"Yeah, every day."

"Oh. Well - yeah. It's because I... stop and talk with Jon."

"Or is it because _you_ smoke?"

"I don't smoke," Colin said automatically.

"You can tell me if you do," Bradley assured him. "I'm not going to yell at you or anything. I've thought for a while that you won't let anyone 'walk' with you at lunch because you're off secretly smoking somewhere. Either that or you've got a regular lunchtime fuck with Katie or someone."

"I - Katie? Why Katie?"

Bradley shrugged. "I don't know. She's Irish and, well - she's gorgeous, isn't she? All long hair and piercing eyes and inappropriate comments. Why wouldn't you want to shag her?"

Colin shook his head. "Your head is a scary place."

"At least I cant admit to it. Come on, let's have a manly chat. Is there anyone in the cast you fancy shagging?"

"No," Colin said quickly before he could say anything stupid.

"Not even Richard?" Bradley teased.

"Well, _besides_ Richard," Colin corrected himself. "I thought that would have been obvious. No one _besides_ Richard."

"What about the crew?"

Colin paused and pretended to think about it. He pushed thoughts of the previous day's lunchtime snog with Jon out of his head. "Not really. I'm not... you know. I'm not here for romance."

"Who said anything about romance? I'm talking about sex."

"I'm not here for sex, then," Colin said.

"That's a lie - everyone's here for sex."

"I'm pretty sure everyone's here for work, actually."

Bradley shrugged. "To each his own, I suppose. Who was your first shag, then?"

Colin sighed. He could hardly tell Bradley that his first shag had been a bloke called Ian. "That's not really... I don't kiss and tell."

Bradley snorted. "It's not like I know her," he pointed out. "Come on, spill. I'll tell you about mine. Her name was Sarah. We were fifteen."

"Fifteen?" Colin asked, seizing onto Bradley as the topic of conversation. "Did you even know where to put it?"

"I didn't live under a rock, Cols. Of course I knew where to put it. I can't say it lasted there very long, but I did _know where to put it_ , thanks. You've got a lot of faith in my sexual prowess."

"I've no reason to have faith in your sexual prowess. I've watched you and Marcy flirting for a month and you still haven't asked her out."

"Why should I? I'm not interested."

"Then why are you flirting with her?"

Bradley rolled his eyes. "You're such a prude. Can't I have a bit of fun flirting with a co-worker? It doesn't mean anything."

"Does she know that?"

Bradley shrugged. "Like you said, it's been a month and I still haven't done anything. The message should be loud and clear - just like your stomach."

Colin smiled as his stomach made a few unsettling noises. "Do you think I could be pregnant?"

"Don't see how you could be," Bradley said seriously. "Not if you're as disinterested in sex as you say you are."

"I'm not 'disinterested' in sex," Colin said honestly. "I'm very interested in sex. I love sex. I'm just not looking for sex right this second." Bradley gave him a look and he wondered if it was obvious that he was lying. "Besides," he continued before Bradley could say anything, "it's unprofessional."

"And being pregnant isn't unprofessional?"

"I don't even know how to begin to respond to that," Colin said. "How sexist are you?"

"I'm not sexist - you're a man! A pregnant man. _Clearly_ something unprofessional is going on. Are you a secret tranny?"

"No. Do you have the time?" Colin asked, deciding to put an end to their conversation before either of them said anything more offensive. "We probably have to get back soon."

"I think we've still got a few minutes. I've got to run to the toilet, though. Thanks for letting me join you on your walk."

"It's no problem. I mean, you can't do it every day," Colin said quickly. "But it was fun for today."

Bradley grinned and headed back toward the trailers at a jog. Colin backtracked and found Jon still lurking in the stone archway.

"Afternoon," he said before planting a quick kiss on Colin's lips.

Colin quickly looked around to check that they were alone, then gave Jon a proper greeting kiss.

"Lovely," Jon said when Colin pulled away.

Colin snorted at the compliment, then quickly pulled out his cigarettes. "I've got to be quick," he said after lighting one. "Bradley insisted on going for a walk with me."

"Yeah, I saw," Jon said, sounding amused. "You're not leaving me for him, are you?"

"Oh, yeah. Definitely."

"I knew it," Jon said, shaking his head. "I never stood a chance."

"Sorry." Colin smoked in silence for a few moments, replaying his conversation with Bradley over in his head. "Actually, it was quite weird. He kept trying to get me to tell him about my first shag."

Jon smirked. "Yeah? What'd you say?"

"I told him I don't kiss and tell - which is mostly true, actually. Then I changed the subject."

His stomach made a noise in protest and then proceeded to cramp slightly. Colin frowned and put his hand over it, hoping he wasn't getting ill.

"You all right?" Jon asked.

"Yeah," Colin said, shrugging it off. "It's been making weird noises all day. I'm fine."

"Good. Go on and tell me who your first shag was, then."

Colin rolled his eyes. "Why?"

"Because I'm curious. What was his name?"

"Ian," Colin said quietly. "He was a friend of mine at school."

"Not a boyfriend?"

"Not exactly," Colin admitted. "More of a... friend with benefits."

"Interesting. How old were you?"

"Nineteen." Colin took one last drag off his cigarette and then tossed it to the ground.

"Bit of a late bloomer?" Jon teased. "Or did you have to wait to get out of your parents' house?"

"I said he was my first shag - I didn't say he was my first sexual... experience, or whatever. Who was yours, then?"

"Michelle," Jon said, grinning. "My first girlfriend."

Colin rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you were a great boyfriend."

"I was," Jon said proudly. "I only snogged two other boys while I was with her."

Colin shouldered his backpack. "Good story. I've got to get back to set." His stomach rumbled and clenched painfully as he leaned in for a goodbye kiss. "I'll see you later."

**~**

By dinner, Colin was cursing whoever had decided to schedule him a thirteen hour day. His stomach was killing him. The noises had stopped, but the cramping had increased tenfold. He was pretty sure he had a fever as well, but he didn't want to complain. There were only two hours left and then he could go back to the hotel and spend his whole night on the toilet if he needed.

He sat with Bradley again and was glad that no one else ever paid them attention during meals. He didn't want anyone else to see that his dinner consisted of a bottle of water and a slice of bread.

"You could probably get them to toast it for you, if you asked," Bradley pointed out.

Colin shook his head. "It's fine," he muttered, forcing another bite into his mouth.

"You should tell someone. Maybe one of the PAs has medicine or something."

Colin shook his head again. "I'll be fine. I just need to keep going and then... and then it'll be over.

"Are you sure?"

Colin nodded and set down his half-eaten slice of bread. "I'm sure." He put his elbow on the table, rested his cheek in his hand, and tried to nap for the rest of dinner.

By the time filming resumed, he was regretting the bread. He stomach was aching, cramping, spasming, lurching, churning, and generally torturing him. He couldn't even remember the last time he felt this ill. His forehead was definitely burning and he knew he was sweating much more than appropriate for the cool evening breeze.

Somehow, it was nothing make-up couldn't handle. No one even said anything to him about looking pale or shaky or sweaty all through the blocking. He supposed he didn't look as ill as he thought he must.

By the second take, Colin wasn't sure he was going to make it through the evening. He felt weak. All he wanted to do was sit down, drink some more water, and sleep.

On the fourth take, he had to walk off camera in the middle of a line and vomit onto some grass. He distantly heard the director shout, "CUT! WHERE'S THE MEDIC?" as he collapsed to his knees next to a prop barrel and continued emptying his stomach through his mouth.

When Colin was doing being sick, someone grabbed him by the waist and walked him over to a chair. He slumped down, covered his eyes with his hand, and wished to be dead. He felt too weak to even be embarrassed.

"Here, mate," Jon's voice came from above him. Colin looked up to see Jon handing him a bottle of water.

Colin took a large sip of water, swished it around in his mouth, then spat it out on the ground. Jon crouched down in front of him as a bunch of other cast and crew members made their way toward his chair.

"You all right?"

"I feel terrible," Colin mumbled. His stomach still felt like it was trying to kill him.

Jon put a hand on his knee. "You look terrible."

Colin wished Jon would leave him alone. He appreciated the care but he didn't want Jon to fuss over him in public.

Of course, Jon stayed by his side as he spoke with the director, one of the producers, the medic, and Bradley.

"Thanks for grabbing him," Bradley said to Jon, holding out his hand.

"Just being a friend," Jon said, shaking Bradley's hand with a grin.

Colin closed his eyes and sunk further down in his chair. If Bradley and Jon became friends, he was going to have to call it quits on whatever it was he had going on with Jon. There was no way he could maintain that many lies if the two of them talked to each other or spent time together.

"They're shutting down for the night," Bradley told Colin.

Colin groaned. "I'm fine," he said pointlessly. "I just need a few minutes."

"You're not _fine_ , you're white as a sheet. Come on, the van's already waiting."

Colin felt himself being pulled to his feet by two sets of hands. Bradley and Jon walked on either side of him and guided him toward the car park.

"Johnny's going to check on you at the hotel when he gets the chance," Bradley said. "He said he hasn't ruled out sending you to hospital."

Colin pulled a face and let Jon manhandle him into the van. He wasn't entirely convinced he wouldn't be sick again on the way to the hotel, but there wasn't much he could do about it. Bradley crawled into the seat next to him and Colin glanced back at the door, waiting for Jon.

"I've got to stay and help clean up," Jon said. "I'll stop by your room when I get back."

"Why does everyone think I want company?" Colin asked, surprised to hear how sad and hoarse his voice sounded. "I just want sleep."

"Leave your door unlocked," Jon instructed before pulling the van door closed.

Colin leaned against the window and thought about the warm pressure of Bradley's thigh against his own the whole way to the hotel.

**~**

"Cols. Colin. Wake up."

Colin opened one eye and saw Jon, Johnny Capps, and Bradley standing over his hotel bed. He propped himself up on his elbows and glared at Bradley.

"You said you'd wake me up before you let anyone in," he said accusingly. Bradley had insisted on staying with Colin until Johnny showed up to make official decisions. Colin had fallen asleep on top of his covers while they waited.

"Sorry," Bradley said, not sounding sorry at all.

Colin sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He wasn't feeling any better.

"What happened?" Johnny prompted.

"I think I ate some bad eggs this morning," Colin guessed. "Maybe they weren't cooked... I don't know. I just feel like shit. Maybe it's a bug."

"We shouldn't rule out food poisoning," Johnny decided. "You need to stay hydrated. I'll let you sleep, but if you're sick again, I'm sending you straight to hospital."

"Fine," Colin muttered. He really didn't want to visit a French hospital, but he knew there was nothing he could say to change Johnny's mind. "Can I go back to sleep?"

"Let's leave him be," Johnny said to Jon and Bradley.

The three of them left and Colin stood to get undressed. When he was down to his pants, there was a knock on his door. He shuffled over and stuck his eye to the peephole and saw Jon standing in the hallway.

"What d'you want?" he asked tiredly, opening the door and letting Jon inside.

"My first glimpse of you half-naked," Jon said appreciatively. "Ideally, this moment would have been more romantic, but..."

Colin ignored him and pulled on pyjamas. "I'm going to bed."

"I know. I'm here to keep an eye on you and make sure you don't die."

"I'm not going to die," Colin protested as he pulled back his covers and lay down.

"You might," Jon teased. "Johnny thinks you'll lie about how ill you really are, so I volunteered to stay the night."

Colin rolled onto his side and pressed his face into his pillow. This was the last thing he needed.

"Mind if I join you?"

Colin said nothing. He listened as Jon undressed himself, turned off the lights, and crawled into bed.

"I'll keep my hands to myself," Jon assured him. "But I'm going to give you a goodnight kiss."

Colin refused to turn around, so Jon kissed him sweetly on the cheek instead.

**~**

Colin slept very poorly. After two hours of uninterrupted sleep, he spent the rest of the night moving between his bed and the bathroom. He'd never had such a terrible stomach ache. He was nearly decided on just letting Johnny send him to hospital when Jon woke up and declared that he had food poisoning.

"Definitely," Jon said, nodding his head. "I had it once. Fucking terrible, that was."

"No kidding," Colin murmured, collapsing onto his bed after what felt like his hundredth trip to the bathroom. "What time is it?"

"Half five."

Colin groaned into his pillow. All he wanted was more sleep, but it was almost time for him to get up.

"Have you been sick again?" Jon asked, sliding across the bed to hover over Colin.

"No," Colin whispered, too tired to talk properly. "Wish I had been, though. Do you think there's any chance French doctors would be willing to induce a coma?"

Jon chuckled and Colin frowned, curling into himself slightly as his stomach cramped painfully.

"You'll be fine," Jon declared, placing a hand on Colin's side. "Just keep drinking water. You're probably extremely dehydrated by this point."

"Don't want water," Colin mumbled. "Just want to die."

Jon placed a kiss on Colin's cheek and then got out of the bed. "Sleep," he said quietly. Colin opened his eyes to see Jon putting on shoes. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Colin closed his eyes again and prayed for a swift death.

**~**

The next time he woke up, it was past nine o'clock. He was about to go into a panic, but his stomach made itself known and he stumbled into the bathroom instead.

When he came back out, Jon was sitting on the edge of his bed.

"What're you doing?" Colin asked weakly. "Why aren't you on set?"

"I've got a different job today," Jon said, grinning widely. "I'm here to look after you."

"I don't need looking after," Colin protested. "I just need more sleep."

"You _need_ water," Jon said firmly. He stood and handed Colin a water bottle. "Drink."

"I'm not thirsty," Colin insisted. He didn't want to put anything into his mouth - he was pretty sure it would just come right back up.

"You need water or we really are going to have to send you to hospital." Jon unscrewed the lip and forced the water bottle into Colin's hand. "They'll stick you with needles and hook up those gross bags to your arms. It's rather extreme when all you need is a bit of water."

Colin rolled his eyes and took a sip. His stomach gurgled in protest, but nothing worse happened. Jon smiled and Colin rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"You said you'd come back in a few minutes."

"I did," Jon explained. "You were out cold. Anyway, I talked with the producers and they're rescheduling your scenes. They've had words with the hotel kitchen staff about the scrambled eggs, too."

Colin pouted and sat down on his bed. "I wish people would stop fussing. I'll be fine tomorrow."

"Unlikely," Jon said sympathetically. "Food poisoning usually lasts a few days."

Colin moaned and crawled under the covers, feeling utterly pathetic. "Just leave me alone," he pleaded when he didn't hear Jon leave. "I'm fine. I wish you hadn't volunteered to look after me. It's so suspicious."

Jon snorted. "It's not suspicious - I'm your mate. If it wasn't me, it'd be some assistant you're not even friendly with. Stop whinging and go back to sleep. Big baby."

**~**

The next morning, the producers sent Colin to hospital. He'd spent the previous day moaning in his bed and refusing to eat or drink anything. In the morning, Jon had forced him to eat one slice of toast, which he promptly threw up. Jon joked that he was only sick out of spite, but called Johnny anyway. Less than fifteen minutes later, Colin was sitting in a van on the way to his worst nightmare - foreign doctors. He had a translator with him, but he still felt uneasy.

As it turned out, both his nurse and his doctor spoke some English. Even though most of their conversations were held through the translator, Colin still felt better knowing he could at least say some things to the people taking care of him. As Jon had promised, they hooked him up to some gross bags to get fluids back into his system.

He found the hospital bed uncomfortable, but he was too tired not to sleep.

**~**

The hospital released him the next morning and told him he could return to work after one more day of resting. Colin found this news extremely frustrating. All he wanted to do was get back to the set and film his scenes. He knew that the crew was finding it hard to rework their entire schedule around his illness. He also had more energy and was feeling slightly less disgusting.

On the way back to the hotel, Colin asked Johnny if he could come in for the afternoon, but Johnny refused.

"They said tomorrow, Colin. We'll be fine for one more day without you. Just don't eat any more runny eggs."

Colin sighed and leaned against the window, watching the French countryside pass by. This had not been the first week in France he had hoped for.

**~**

To his relief, Jon was on set all day. This meant that Colin could lock his hotel room door, take a shower, and spend the day well and truly by himself.

He spent most of his day memorizing the pile of new scripts and re-writes that Johnny had handed him in the van. At least this way he could be productive - it was still work. He forwent lunch for a long, drawn-out wank, complete with strange fantasies about Jon the Caregiver.

Bradley was the first person to knock on his door that evening. When Colin opened the door to let him inside, Bradley grinned at him and held up a plate stacked with toast.

"Thought you might be hungry," Bradley said, pushing his way inside. "Jesus, Morgan, you look like you've lost a fucking stone. Here, eat."

Colin still had no appetite, but he was reasonably sure he could keep food down, so he made an effort to eat two slices of toast while they ran lines.

"We've missed you on set," Bradley said an hour into their rehearsal, tossing his script aside and reaching for a cold slice of toast. " _Merlin_ is a lot less interesting without Merlin."

"Go figure," Colin said, smiling. "I've missed being on set... you have no idea how bored I've been."

"Jon's told me," Bradley said through a mouthful of bread. "Said you asked for a coma."

"Well - to be fair, I wanted that coma because my stomach was trying to eat me alive, not because I was bored."

"Was it that bad?" Bradley asked sympathetically.

"What, Jon didn't tell you?" Colin asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

Bradley shook his head. "No, I haven't really talked to him. Only once after he spent the night. I asked how you were and he said you were begging for a coma."

Colin nodded, relieved. "Then, yeah. It really was that bad. I've never been so ill in my life."

"Welcome to France," Bradley teased.

Colin tossed his script at Bradley's face. Bradley tossed it right back and looked like he was debating whether or not to initiate a wrestling match when there was another knock on the door.

Colin frowned and got off his bed, hoping it was Johnny or Katie or Angel or even Tony - anyone but Jon.

"Morning, Sunshine," Jon said when Colin opened the door.

Colin stepped back to avoid the kiss Jon was leaning in for and gestured at his bed. "I'm just running lines with Bradley."

Jon's eyes widened. "Threesome?" he asked under his breath.

Colin blushed and turned away. Bradley was still sitting on his bed, eating more cold toast and looking perfectly content to stay there all night.

"Send him away and I promise I'll make it worth your while."

Colin cleared his throat to fight against the shiver Jon's breath had sent across his neck. He moved over to his bed and started gathering his scripts.

"Are we done?" Bradley asked awkwardly, watching Colin tidy.

"Erm," Colin said stupidly. "I'm just - I really want to get a full night's sleep. You know, so I'm 100% for tomorrow."

"No one's expecting you to be 100%, mate," Bradley said, standing and grabbing his own things. "Don't work yourself too hard."

Colin smiled and waved as Bradley left without saying anything else. Jon closed the door, made sure it was locked, and then turned to face Colin.

"Actually, I was serious," Colin said, not quite meeting Jon's intense gaze. "I really should get to bed..."

"Are you sure?" Jon asked, smiling mischievously. "We can make it quick."

"I'd rather not," Colin said quietly. "It's nothing against you, I just - I'm still, you know. I don't want the first time we - this weekend," he said, embarrassed at the way all of his non-sentences blurred together. "Johnny promised I'd have late starts this weekend. He wants me to be rested, you know. So... you can come over one of those nights. I promise."

Jon grinned and walked over to press a chaste kiss to Colin's dry lips. "Don't worry about it," he said, sliding his hands down to Colin's waist. "Sleep well."

Colin wrapped his arms around Jon's neck and leaned in for a kiss.

"Are you feeling much better?" Jon asked against Colin's lips.

"My stomach still hurts," Colin murmured against Jon's cheek. "But it's fairly under control."

"Glad to hear it." Jon kissed Colin firmly, digging his fingers into Colin's hips. "I can't wait until this weekend."

Colin grinned and shooed Jon out the door. "I'll see you tomorrow," he called out as Jon walked down the hallway.

**~**

On set the next morning, everyone greeted Colin as though he were a long lost friend. He appreciated the sentiment, but quickly grew tired of the constant crowding. He still felt ill and low on energy - what he really wanted was to film his scenes, have a quiet lunch with Bradley, and then film more scenes. He wanted to work, not to chat with all the many past sufferers of food poisoning that apparently made up most of the crew.

Actually, what he really wanted was for Jon to stop leering at him from across the courtyard. People were staring to notice.

"Did anything... happen... when Jon slept over your room?" Bradley asked Colin at lunch.

Colin stared down at his unexciting pile of toast and sighed. "No."

"He just seems... very..."

Colin shifted awkwardly in his seat and started in on his toast. "What?"

Bradley shrugged. "I think he might fancy you, is all."

Colin rolled his eyes in a show of amusement and continued eating his toast.

"Do you still have a fever or something?"

Colin looked up at Bradley, who was staring at him with genuine concern. "I don't think so." Colin put the back of one hand to his forehead. "Feels normal. Why?"

"Your hands are shaking."

Colin held one hand up in front of his face and inspected it carefully. Bradley was right - his hand was definitely shaking. He checked his other hand and found that it, too, was shaking.

"Do you feel all right?"

Colin paused to consider how he felt. He had a slight headache, his stomach was cramping minimally, his hands were shaking for some reason, and his throat was just starting to feel scratchy.

"I feel amazing compared to how I felt a few days ago," he said honestly.

Bradley smiled slightly. "Maybe you should rest instead of going on your walk."

Colin paused, his water bottle halfway to his mouth, as he realized what was going on. He hadn't smoked a cigarette in days. The food poisoning had been so distracting that he hadn't even thought about it.

"Cols?" Bradley asked, looking concerned again.

"No, you're right," Colin said, setting his water bottle back down and looking at his shaking hands again. "I should rest."

They continued their lunch in silence, Colin eating three slices of toast before giving up on the bland food. Finally, Bradley excused himself to the loo and Colin headed for Jon's stone archway.

"I thought you were standing me up again," Jon said when Colin approached.

"Sorry," Colin said as he leaned in for a kiss. "I had lunch with Bradley."

Jon offered his pack of cigarettes to Colin, but Colin shook his head.

"I, erm... I think I've quit."

Jon snorted. "How do you 'think' you've quit?"

"Well I haven't had once since before I caught the food death. Looks, my hands are shaking and everything."

He held his hands up and Jon took them gently, pressing light kisses to his fingertips.

"You're in for a hell of a ride," Jon said quietly, dropping Colin's hands.

"I don't think it'll be too bad," Colin said honestly. "I was down to one or two a day, so... hopefully it won't be anything terrible."

"Cheers," Jon said, grinning. "Well... I'd say that I'll quit with you, but I've never had much luck in the past."

Colin shrugged it off. "You don't have to change for me. Just, you know... I probably won't be showing up during lunch anymore."

"Shame, that."

"We'll work something else out," Colin said, winking. "I'll see you around."

He gave Jon a light, teasing kiss before heading back to the set to start filming the afternoon's scenes. When it became clear that things were running slightly behind schedule, Colin pulled out his mobile to text his brother.

_An update on France: I've had food poisoning, I've quit smoking, and I've kissed a crew member. What's the score?_

[ ](http://shoppery.livejournal.com/2420.html)

Neil's response didn't come until that evening.

_A six-pack for me and two for you. Congrats on quitting - it's about time. Sorry about the food poisoning. Too bad we didn't have a bet on that one. Dad hasn't won anything yet._

**~**

By the end of the week, Colin's hands had stopped shaking. However, in place of that symptom, he now had a constantly running nose, a dry cough, and a very irritated throat.

Friday's schedule had been terrible. Colin had a packed fourteen-hour day with scenes with everyone from Bradley to Richard to Angel. Some assistant or other kept having to give him cups of hot water with honey and lemon between takes because he was losing his voice. Everyone was really sympathetic, saying he must have caught a cold while his immune system was weakened by the food poisoning. Colin really didn't feel that he deserved any sympathy. He hadn't caught a cold - he was fighting nicotine withdrawal. It was a lot worse than he had hoped for. He wanted to scream at everyone to leave him alone, stop fussing over him, and let him finish the damn scene - but he knew that such behavior would be suspicious. He also knew that he was only feeling so irritable because of the withdrawal.

As promised, his Saturday and Sunday schedules were significantly less grueling. He was only set for eight hours of filming per day and didn't have to be at the castle until ten o'clock.

Saturday went far better than Friday had - his throat felt significantly better, his nose had finally stopped running, and his cough subsided enough that it only ruined half as many takes as the day before.

His daily routine had changed so that instead of looking forward to his semi-private lunchtime smoke, he now looked forward to his lunch with Bradley. Every day it was the same - he would grab a salad or maybe some soup, sit down with Bradley, and laugh as Bradley poked fun at him the whole time. Depending on his mood, he would contribute with odd comments about himself or by being just as rude and absurd as Bradley. They developed a simple, familiar routine that no one else in the cast or crew could penetrate. Katie and Angel tried to sit with them one day, but Bradley ignored them completely. It wasn't out of meanness or a desire to hurt their feelings - Colin knew Bradley would never do that on purpose. It seemed more like Bradley was unwilling to break his routine or to ignore Colin in favor of chatting with the girls. Their strange lunchtime banter obviously meant as much to Bradley as it did to Colin. Colin used it as a chance to unwind - laughter had replaced nicotine in his lunchtime relaxation technique.

Saturday night, back in the hotel, Colin took a shower, changed into some reasonably nice clothes, and sat down on his bed to flip through the French television stations. He had told Jon to come over as soon possible, but Jon was taking his time.

Finally, there was a knock on the door and Colin opened it without checking the peephole first. It was Bradley, holding his laptop and a stack of DVDs.

"Let's take the night off from line-learning, yeah?"

Colin smiled slightly and stood his ground, determined not to let Bradley in his room. "Erm, actually, I... I have plans already."

Bradley looked suspicious. "With who?"

Colin quickly constructed a lie. "Jon and some of the other crew members. We're just going out for dinner, I think. I'd invite you along, but they made reservations and - well, I'm not organizing it. It's someone's birthday, I think. I don't even know how I got roped into it, really. I'd rather stay here and watch movies, but I promised Jon..."

Bradley smiled slightly and Colin's insides clenched. Bradley was obviously hurt that he hadn't been invited - Colin knew that Bradley prided himself on being friendly with everyone on set. He regretted the lie and wished he could have made up a different one.

"Well, have fun. Maybe knock when you get back? If it's not too late... we could still watch something."

"Definitely," Colin said and immediately wished he hadn't. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

Bradley nodded and retreated back into his room. Colin sighed and glanced up and down the hallway. Jon was striding toward his room with a grin. Colin pulled him inside quickly and shut the door.

"We have to be really quiet," he whispered, pressing Jon against the wall. "Bradley thinks we're out to dinner and the walls are sort of thin."

"Kinky," Jon said, grinning.

Colin rolled his eyes, but let Jon draw him in for a kiss.

**~**

Colin woke up the next morning alone in his bed. He panicked for one moment, then realized that Jon had a much earlier start time than him. Rolling onto his back in the middle of the bed, Colin licked his dry lips and thought about the night before. Somehow, even after two rounds of blowjobs, Colin still wasn't entirely sure how he felt about Jon. He enjoyed Jon's company, for the most part. He still found Jon to be a little too sad and dry on occasion. But considering how irritable Colin had been recently, he couldn't really fault Jon for having sulky moods. He definitely found Jon sexy - he may have been prone to sick, lopsided relationships, but he never took his clothes off for someone he didn't want to touch.

He just didn't care about Jon that much. He felt far guiltier about never knocking on Bradley's door last night than he did about possibly stringing Jon along. That was usually how it went with Colin - he would lead on some well-intentioned guy until he had to admit that he didn't feel anything (and the guy would end up getting hurt) or he would let himself fall too fast and too hard for some obviously uninterested guy who ended up not even trying to let him down easy (and Colin would end up getting hurt). He was too used to the pattern to change it, and he had no delusions about it ever changing on its own. He was secretly a romantic, but he honestly never saw himself settling down with anyone. No one he fancied ever fancied him back, and no one who fancied him ever really mattered to him. It was cruel and pessimistic, but Colin almost liked it. His professional life was practically flawless. He liked that his personal life was a bit of a mess - he would much rather have it that way than the other way around.

When his alarm finally went off, Colin got up to take a shower. He ate a quick breakfast in the hotel, staying well away from the scrambled eggs, and then headed out to the van. Bradley was already seated inside, looking through a French newspaper.

"Can you even understand any of that?" Colin asked, sliding into the seat next to Bradley.

"Not a word," Bradley admitted, folding the newspaper and dropping it on the seat in front of him. "How was your night?"

"It was good... pretty fun. Sorry I never came over. I was pretty spent by the time we got back."

Bradley nodded and reached for Colin's backpack. "Can I go through your things?" he asked in a bored voice.

Colin snorted. "Why, are you stalking me?"

"I could be," Bradley admitted as the van took off. "Am I doing a good job?"

"Not particularly."

Bradley shrugged and unzipped the backpack. Colin watched as Bradley dug through scripts and spare socks, apparently looking for something interesting.

"If you're looking for the evidence, I've hidden it somewhere else."

"Damn," Bradley said, pulling out a Euro note. "I was hoping to arrest you on the spot."

"I'm far too clever for you."

"I'm not so - hey."

"What?"

"You said you don't smoke," Bradley said, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

Colin's heart sank. "I don't," he said quickly. "I don't smoke."

"Then why would you carry these around?" Bradley opened the pack and counted the cigarettes. "It's half-empty. If _you_ haven't been smoking them..."

"I used to smoke," Colin said in a low voice so no one else in the van could hear them. "All right? I don't anymore."

"And you carry these around to remind you of the good ole days?"

"What - no! I just forgot to take them out, is all."

Bradley replaced the cigarettes and handed Colin back his bag. "When'd you quit?"

"Erm... recently." Colin looked out the window, wishing the conversation would end.

"How recently?"

"Just - you know..."

"Colin," Bradley said quietly, "I'm not angry. I'm just curious."

Colin sighed and turned to look at Bradley. "I quit when I had food poisoning. All right?"

Bradley nodded and then frowned slightly. "So... you were lying when I asked you before if you smoke during your walks at lunch."

"Erm... yeah. Maybe... a bit."

Bradley nodded slowly. "All right."

"Sorry," Colin said quickly. "It's just - I'm a very, erm... private person. And... I don't know. I was worried you were going to judge me or - or - I don't know. I'm sorry."

Bradley shrugged. "It's fine. It's your life. I shouldn't have pried."

"I don't mind the prying," Colin said, even though it was a lie. "Sometimes it's just... you know."

"Not really," Bradley admitted. "I don't really know anything about you. You never give a straight answer to anything I ask."

"I'm sorry," Colin said again. "Sometimes I forget that... I can trust you."

"Of course you can trust me."

Colin smiled. "Of course."

"Does this mean you'll answer my questions from now on?"

"Erm..."

"Come on," Bradley pestered.

"It depends on the questions," Colin said truthfully. "There are some things I just don't talk about - with anyone."

"Like your first shag?"

"Like my first shag," Colin said firmly.

"All right," Bradley said. "I can accept that."

Colin laughed. "Thanks."

**~**

Colin invited Jon over again that night. He intended for it to go the same as the previous night - some kissing, some oral sex, some more kissing, some more oral sex, a nice joint shower, and then bed time. Jon apparently had other intentions, because it didn't take very long before Colin found himself face down in the pillows as Jon fucked into him rather violently.

It had been a long time since Colin had gotten fucked properly - far too long for his own liking. And Jon was a master at gripping his hips and thighs hard enough to leave bruises, and at licking up his spine in a filthy way, and at hitting the spot inside him that made him see stars over and over and over. Colin couldn't even pretend to try to be quiet as Jon thoroughly debauched them both. Something somewhere in the back of his brain kept shushing him, but he didn't care. He was crying out - screaming, really - each time Jon thrust into him and knocked against his prostate. He couldn't even bring himself to care that the entire hallway probably heard him when he finally came.

He hadn't had sex that good in ages and he didn't care who had heard him.

**~**

To his dismay, Colin felt rather differently on Monday morning. Jon was gone when he woke up, which he was eternally grateful for because that meant Jon couldn't see him fret over all the noise they'd made the night before.

By the time Colin got out of the shower, he had managed to convince himself that it was all right. People had probably heard a lot of shouting, but there was no way they could know which room or which person it had come from. And even if they had, no one was so tactless that they would confront him about it. He could live with people sniggering at him from a distance - as long as no one tried to talk to him about it, he would be fine.

Before he had finished getting dressed, there was a knock on the door. He checked through the peephole as he pulled up his jeans and saw Bradley standing on the other side of the door.

"Morning," Colin said, opening the door to let Bradley in. "What's up?"

"I've just come to check to see if you're still alive," Bradley said, his voice far too calm for Colin's liking.

"Erm... why wouldn't I still be alive?"

Bradley shrugged innocently. "Well... it sounded like you were being shagged within an inch of your life last night. I thought I'd better come and see the damage." He looked Colin up and down, smirking. "Make-up's going to be thrilled with that bite mark."

Colin's hand shot up to his neck of its own accord. "Damn."

"Was it Katie?" Bradley asked sympathetically. "I've told you before - she's a vampire."

Colin rolled his eyes and moved away to pick out a shirt. He couldn't believe Bradley was actually trying to talk to him about this, especially when he'd been very explicit the day before that he didn't talk about his sex life with anyone.

"Was it Richard?" Bradley asked. "Did all your dreams finally come true?"

"Yeah," Colin said, pulling a shirt over his head. "It was Richard. Don't tell anyone, though. He asked me to keep the magic secret."

Bradley laughed loudly and Colin sat down on the edge of his bed to put on socks. "That's a good one."

"Thanks?"

"So, come on. Who was it?"

"I told you yesterday-"

"I'm not asking about your first shag, I'm asking about your last shag! Come on, I won't tell anyone. Look, I had to listen to you two go at it all night and you're not going to even let me know who it was?"

Colin sighed and stared down at his socks, cursing himself for being so stupid. There were a million reasons he never dated co-workers, and this was definitely one he should have thought about more seriously before deciding to let things with Jon go on. He wasn't ashamed to be gay, but it wasn't anyone else's business. His family knew, his oldest and closest friends knew, and that was enough for him. It didn't matter to anyone else and he didn't want to be known as _that great gay actor_. He wanted to keep his professional life and his personal life very, very separate. Of course, he had ruined that whole idea as soon as he'd met Jon, really.

"Colin?" Bradley asked slowly. "Was it... are you..."

Colin stood up and grabbed his shoes. "It's none of your business who I spend my nights with. I spend all bloody day with you - that should be enough."

"I didn't - what?"

Colin sat back down to lace up his trainers. He wanted Bradley to leave.

"Cols," Bradley started, his voice low. "You don't have to keep secrets from me."

"I'm not keeping secrets," Colin lied firmly. "It's not like - couldn't you hear who it was?"

"Well..." To Colin's surprise, Bradley blushed slightly. "Well, yeah. But I wanted... I just wanted you to be able to admit it to me."

"There's nothing to admit," Colin said as he stood up, his ears burning. "It was just sex. Why do you care so much?"

"Because I'm your friend," Bradley said, sounding hurt. Colin avoided looking at his co-star's confused face. "I'm just trying to have a conversation with you. I'm interested in your life... is that so wrong?"

"It's not wrong," Colin muttered, grabbing his backpack. "It's just - it's _my_ life."

"I'm not trying to steal it from you," Bradley said, smiling slightly. "I'm just trying to be a part of it."

"You are a part of it," Colin said, moving toward the door. "Can't you just be happy with what you have?"

Bradley reached out and grabbed Colin by the elbow. Colin froze and looked up at Bradley, who was inexplicably staring at his lips. Colin swallowed and cleared his throat.

"Just don't let him hurt you," Bradley whispered.

Colin pulled his arm out of Bradley's grip and left his room without saying anything.


	3. Part Three - Wales

Colin found it immensely relieving to be back in a country where everyone spoke his language. France had been fun, but it was difficult and tiring to communicate with people about the simplest things. The worst thing he had to worry about in Wales was coming across someone with a particularly strong accent.

The first day back in the studio was exhausting. There was a new director for the new episodes and everyone was running around like mad trying to please him and get everything done the way he wanted. Colin found the chaos all too much and he slipped into the loo mid-morning for a bit of quiet.

"Fancy meeting you here."

Colin half considered turning around and leaving, but he knew that would be far too rude and childish.

"Morning," he said to Bradley, who was washing his hands. "How're your scenes?"

"Good," Bradley said. "I like this new guy."

"Yeah," Colin agreed. "He's good."

"Look." Bradley turned off the water and turned to face Colin, who wanted nothing more than to run away at full speed. "Let's... let's start over. We're back in Cardiff, we've got a new director, new episodes, new everything. Let's not... let's not keep doing what we were doing in France. I don't care if you're gay and you really shouldn't care if I know. I haven't told anyone and I don't think any differently of you. I miss spending time with you and I just - I just want to take you out for dinner."

Colin looked down at the floor, letting Bradley's words sink in. He knew he had been a complete arsehole in France - ignoring Bradley at every cost - and he missed spending time with Bradley, too.

"All right."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Colin nodded and looked up to see Bradley grinning at him. "Dinner would be great."

Bradley clapped Colin on the shoulder. "Fantastic. I'll catch up with you at lunch, yeah?"

Colin nodded and smiled as Bradley left. He went over to the mirror and looked at his tired expression. "Idiot," he muttered, wondering how he had ever managed to mess things up with Bradley in the first place.

**~**

Jon decided to steal Colin away to a closet for a lunchtime blowjob, so he never made it to Bradley's table. Once he composed himself, he returned to the set and tracked down Bradley before their scene started.

"Sorry," he said quickly when Bradley spotted him approaching. "I got distracted."

"Distracted?" Bradley said, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. "By what?"

"Erm..."

Bradley sniggered and Colin blushed.

"You're lucky," Bradley said, elbowing Colin in the ribs. "Great job, great boyfriend - what more could you ask for?"

"He's not really my boyfriend," Colin said quietly. "He's just... we're friends."

Bradley raised an eyebrow. "Well, _I'm_ your friend. How come _we_ don't do that?"

"Do you really want to?" Colin asked, laughing. When Bradley didn't respond, he cleared his throat and walked away to get into his place for the start of the scene.

**~**

Dinner with Bradley was awkward, mostly because Colin couldn't stop thinking about Bradley insinuating that he wanted to give Colin a blowjob that afternoon. Bradley seemed to be pretending that the conversation had never happened. Finally, Colin had to assume that it had been a joke - maybe he had missed the punchline. He hadn't spent any time with Bradley for a few weeks. Maybe he had forgotten Bradley's sense of humour.

"Do you think it'll ever stop being surreal?" Bradley asked as they started walking back toward their hotel. "The whole... _Merlin_... thing."

"Probably not," Colin admitted.

"What do you think it'll be like when it starts airing?"

Colin paused to think about it and a shiver ran down his spine at the thought. "I can't even imagine," he said quietly. "I've got no concept in my head, no reference. I mean, I've been on the telly before, but... but something like _this_... I've got no clue."

"Yeah," Bradley agreed. "It'll probably just get even more surreal."

Colin nodded in agreement. They fell silent and Colin continued thinking about how Merlin could very seriously change his life. Some days he felt _so_ ready for it, and other days he wanted to hide in a cave. He loved anonymity but he desperately wanted, _needed_ , to act and perform and exercise his craft and explore his passion - he knew it would be hard to reconcile those two wishes, but it was too late to turn back.

"Fancy running some lines?" Bradley asked when they reached the hotel.

"Oh, I think... erm." Colin blushed and dug in his pocket for his room key as they turned into their hallway. He had promised to ring Jon once he'd gotten back from dinner.

"D'you have plans?" Bradley teased.

"Sort of," Colin admitted. "Sorry. I'll - let's do it tomorrow."

"We don't have to," Bradley said reassuringly. "You've got your own life."

"No, I want to," Colin insisted. "tomorrow night."

"All right, then," Bradley said, smiling. "tomorrow night it is. Have fun." He winked before disappearing into his room, which was several doors down from Colin's.

Colin went into his own room and pulled out his mobile to let Jon know that he was free. Jon said he would be at the hotel in twenty minutes, so Colin took a quick shower and changed into his pyjamas.

"Hey," he said when he opened his door at Jon's knock. Colin moved in for a kiss, but Jon turned his head slightly, forcing Colin to kiss his cheek instead.

"How was your dinner?" he asked, moving farther into the room without looking at Colin.

"It was good," Colin said suspiciously, locking the door and following Jon over to the bed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's... _wrong_ per se. Just... I sort of had my own dinner date."

"Okay?"

"With Jake."

Colin sat down on the bed next to Jon. "Jake your old boyfriend?"

"Jake... my boyfriend," Jon said slowly. He looked up at Colin, his brow furrowed in confusion. "We never split up."

Colin stared blankly at Jon. "What do you mean?"

"I've been with him this whole time," Jon said quietly. "I thought you knew."

"How could I know?" Colin asked, surprised to hear how loud his was. "You _never_ mentioned him. You - you never quit smoking!"

"Well, no, he... he's been a bit more lax about it than he first threatened..."

Colin shook his head and stood up. He felt _so_ foolish for never asking about Jake, for assuming that the relationship had ended, for assuming that Jon was being honest with him.

"So, you've been cheating on him?" he asked.

"No," Jon said quickly. "We weren't exclusive. We... you and I weren't exclusive, either..."

"No? Who else on the crew have you been fucking, then?"

"No one," Jon insisted. "It's just been you."

"Me and Jake, you mean."

"Well - we were in France. Jake was... Jake was here."

"So, was it supposed to be a _France_ thing, then? Shag me in France and then go back to Jack as soon you got home?"

"No," Jon said, shaking his head and getting to his feet. "No, it was never - Colin. You know I've liked you from the beginning. But I thought... you didn't seem... that invested in us, anyway."

"I wasn't," Colin said, wishing the truth was more hurtful. "But that doesn't mean... doesn't mean I should have assumed you were cheating."

"I wasn't cheating," Jon said firmly. "Look, I had every intention of carrying on with you for the rest of the series, but-"

"But _what_?" Colin spat. "Your tiny conscience finally caught up with your tiny prick?"

Jon glared at Colin, who glared right back. "No. At dinner with Jake, tonight... he wants it to be exclusive... wants it to be more serious."

"Did he know about me?" Colin asked in a low voice.

Jon shrugged. "Sort of."

Colin rolled his eyes. "You know what - just get out. I really don't care, anymore. It's done, it's over, you're an arse, and I don't want you in this room anymore. Just leave."

"Colin, don't be unreasonable."

"I'm not being unreasonable," Colin said. "You came here to end it, right? Well, it's ended. There's no more need for you to be here. Get. Out."

Jon sighed. "All right. I'll see you tomorrow." He moved closer to kiss Colin on the cheek, but Colin stepped away. Jon looked at Colin for a moment and it seemed like he was going to say something, but then he closed his mouth and left the room without another word.

Colin stayed where he was standing, shaking slightly with anger. He felt immensely stupid and embarrassed. He wanted to be furious with Jon, but mostly he was just furious with himself.

Unable to face the rest of the night by himself, he grabbed his script and headed over to Bradley's room.

Bradley opened his door with a surprised look on his face. "Colin."

"Can we run lines?" Colin asked, hoping Bradley wouldn't pry.

"What happened to your plans?"

"I really don't want to talk about it," Colin said, realizing that a lie would do him no good against Bradley's insistent questioning. "Can we just run lines? Please?"

Bradley stepped aside and Colin went into his room, ignoring the concerned look on his face.

"Are you... are you all right?" Bradley asked as he dug through his bag to find his script.

"I'm fucking brilliant," Colin muttered.

"If you want me to hurt him..."

Colin huffed out a laugh. "Don't bother. He's not worth it."

"But he's hurt you," Bradley said gently, sitting on his bed up near the pillows.

Colin settled himself next to Bradley and thumbed distractedly through the script pages. "He didn't hurt me, really. Just... humiliated me. It's my own damn fault... I was being stupid with the whole thing. I never date co-workers. I should have just kept to that rule."

"Dating co-workers can be tricky," Bradley agreed. "But it can also be brilliant if you choose the right person."

Colin ignored the serious, meaningful tone in Bradley's voice and chose a scene out of the script at random. "Let's start with this one."

**~**

The next day on set was distinctly awkward. Colin couldn't quite bring himself to acknowledge Jon, so every time Jon came within eyesight, Colin would pull out his mobile or turn to talk to Bradley. Bradley seemed to have anticipated this awkwardness, because he hovered unnecessarily around Colin for the entire day. Even though he found it slightly annoying, Colin was secretly grateful for the excuse and the distraction. When Bradley excused himself to the toilet after lunch, Colin pulled out his mobile to avoid seeming approachable by anyone, especially Jon.

_Things ended with Jon. Did you have any bets about that?_

Colin scrolled through his saved messages while he waited for a reply from his brother, refusing to look up and see who else was in the room.

_Dad's won a beer. Just the one, though. You all right?_

Colin smiled to himself and responded quickly.

_I'm all right. I'll call later._

"That your brother?" Bradley asked upon returning.

"Yeah," Colin said, slipping his mobile into his backpack and standing so they could walk back to the set. "Just keeping updated with the bets."

"Have you won anything? Or were the bets just about you?"

"I've won three six-packs, so far," Colin said, grinning. "Not a bad way to earn some free beer."

**~**

Colin changed his routine of expecting nights spent being fucking into oblivion by Jon - now he knew that every evening would involve dinner with Bradley, followed by a long session of "line learning" that usually turned into "cracking jokes at his own expense." He divulged full details of every affair and relationship he'd ever had, including Ian and right up to Jon. Bradley dissected them all and re-wrote them as great Shakespearian comedies - always with Colin playing the boy who was really a girl in disguise. For his part, Bradley treated Colin to a full rehashing of each of his own relationships, usually painting himself as a knight in shining armour. They grew inseparable again, which led to a lot of teasing from Angel and Katie, but Colin couldn't bring himself to care. He enjoyed spending time with Bradley far too much to let the odd homoerotic comment bother him - as long as it was coming from an outside source. Bradley still made strange hints now and then that confused Colin, but overall, he did an all right job pretending that his friendship with Bradley was completely platonic and that he wanted nothing more out of it. He kept his illicit desires to himself and let his friendship with Bradley blossom into something he'd never had before - not even with his best friend from back home.

But then Santiago Cabrera showed up and Colin's vision of Bradley as the straightest man alive flew out the window.

Bradley was clearly smitten. He never shut up about Santiago, even when he and Colin were out to dinner or supposed to be running lines. He couldn't seem to get enough of Santiago's arsenal of accents or ability to speak many languages or "luscious" hair or "stunning" cheekbones.

Colin found it slightly sickening. He liked Santiago as much as everyone else, but he wished Bradley could talk about something else for once - even for a few seconds.

"Do you think they'll have Lancelot tell Gwen about Merlin's magic?" Bradley asked one night in Colin's hotel room as they stuffed themselves on Chinese food. "In the next series or something, I mean."

Colin shrugged, bored of discussing anything to do with Santiago. "I guess... doesn't seem too likely, though."

Bradley nodded and took another bite of his dinner. "I wish Santiago would run lines with us. He's such an old man with his early bedtime."

Colin put down his food, unable to stand Bradley's preoccupation for another second. "Bradley."

Bradley looked up. "Yeah?" he asked through a mouthful of noodles.

"It's sweet that you fancy him so much, but could you _shut up_ about him for one night?"

Bradley swallowed heavily and set his dinner down next to Colin's. "What?"

"Santiago," Colin said, surprised that he had to clarify. "You've been talking about him non-stop all bloody week."

Bradley frowned down at his food. "I... no, I haven't."

" _Yes_ , you have," Colin insisted. "I get that you're in love with him, but really... enough is enough."

"I'm not in love with him," Bradley said firmly. "I barely know him."

"You've been swooning."

Bradley scoffed. "I've just been getting into character."

Colin had to laugh. "That is the _worst_ excuse I've ever heard."

"Come on, Morgan - you've read the script!" Bradley grabbed it off the bed and waved it annoyingly in front of Colin's face. "Arthur is _completely_ gay for Lancelot."

Colin had to admit that Bradley was right on this account - everyone seemed to fall for Lancelot immediately, including Arthur and Merlin.

"All right, all right," Colin said, pushing Bradley's script away. "Just, you know... be a little less method."

"What are you, jealous?" Bradley teased.

Colin rolled his eyes, but could feel his ears burning at the truth in Bradley's words. "I'm not jealous," he said flatly. "I'm surprised, is all."

"Surprised?" Bradley asked, grabbing his food again and taking another bite.

"I didn't know you fancied men... you said you were straight."

Bradley chewed slowly, looking down at his food as if the words he wanted to say were written in the noodles.

"It's been known to happen," he said after a minute. "On occasion."

Colin tried to think about this confession, but all that came to his mind were extremely lewd pictures of Bradley having sex with faceless men.

"How many occasions, exactly?"

"You know about every relationship I've had," Bradley pointed out.

"So, you've never actually..."

"I've done things," Bradley said, clearly trying his best to sound casual. "It's just never... I never found... they're all jerks in the end, aren't they?"

"Usually," Colin agreed. "Why didn't you ever say anything before?"

"It's not something I talk about," Bradley said quietly. "I know that really hypocritical, but it's... it's sort of hard. It's not really expected of me and I - I've never found anyone I really wanted to _be_ with and it's awkward answering questions about guys that I've... that I've not dated but been... _involved_ with. I don't know."

"I understand," Colin said before Bradley could get too flustered or embarrassed. "It's a difficult thing to know how to talk about."

Bradley nodded. "Yeah."

"Well," Colin said slowly, "unfortunately for you, I'm pretty sure Santiago's straight."

Bradley laughed and whacked Colin on the head with his script. "I really don't fancy him," he said. "I just think he's..."

"A beefcakes?"

Bradley stared blankly at Colin for a moment, then burst into hysterical laughter.

 ****

~

As quickly as he came, Santiago left again. Colin knew he would be back in France, but still found his departure to be a relief. Even though he steadfastly refused to admit that he was jealous, he really hated the way Bradley had looked at Santiago. And even though Santiago's presence had allowed Bradley to reveal another side of his sexuality, Colin was secretly - very secretly - heartbroken that Santiago was the sort Bradley was attracted to. Colin would _never_ look like Santiago.

The first night after Santiago left the set, Bradley and Colin went out to the same pub they had visited on their third day of filming. Colin ordered the same chilli he had eaten before, which prompted to Bradley call him stiff and boring.

"You're not a very good date," Colin protested, pouting.

"No one said this was a date, Morgan," Bradley pointed out.

"It was a date last time."

"Did I pay for your chilli last time?"

"Well - no."

"Exactly."

Colin winked and took a sip of his water.

"Cols?" Bradley asked in a quiet voice.

Colin looked up and was surprised to see Bradley staring across the table, a very serious expression on his face.

"Yeah?" Colin asked, slightly apprehensive.

"Do you... would you, um... hate it if it was a date?"

Colin blinked. "What?"

Bradley cleared his throat and Colin realized he was blushing.

"If... if I said maybe this _was_ a date - if you wanted it to be - um. Do... _do_ you want it to be?"

Colin swallowed against the feeling of his heart leaping up his throat. Bradley _really_ didn't look like he was joking - he looked dead, _dead_ serious. And earnest. And nervous. And completely, utterly adorable.

"You're not joking?" Colin had to ask, had to make absolutely sure.

"I'm not joking," Bradley whispered. "I sort of... I never fancied Santiago. I was just distracted by his cheekbones. And I was so... frustrated. Um, sexually. I needed someone to take it out on, but I can't... he's gone and I have to face... face what I really want. Don't I?"

"Do you?" Colin asked, not quite following what Bradley was saying.

Bradley nodded. "Yeah, I think so. It's time."

"Time for..."

Bradley looked down at his beer, then back up at Colin, determination written across his features. "For admitting that I'm... somewhat... that I fancy you."

Colin found himself smiling, his brain stuck on the word "fancy." "This is ridiculous," he managed.

Bradley frowned. "It is?"

"You've no idea how much I fancy you," Colin said, unable - unwilling - to stop the words from coming out of his mouth. "You're such a fucking tease. I've been suppressing this for weeks - _months_. How long have you..."

"Since our first not-a-date," Bradley said, smiling slightly. "You were so sweet with your confusion and your... the thing with the mole people... I mean, it was so _weird_ , but I found it so... so..."

Colin grinned and reached across the table to put his hands on top of Bradley's. "Darling," he said, too blindly happy to bother with an English accent, "I'm a mole person."

Bradley ran his thumbs over the back of Colin's hands and laughed. " _That_ is exactly what I'm talking about. Oh." He drew his hands back quickly as their food arrived. "Sorry," he muttered, staring down at his dinner. "I'm not the best when it comes to PDA with blokes."

"Don't apologize," Colin said quickly. "I don't generally do it, either. Erm, actually, you should know... if we're... if you actually want to do this... I don't want it, you know... getting out."

"Me either," Bradley agreed. "At least, not at first. It needs to be something we're really serious about before we tell anyone."

Colin nodded and took a sip of his water as he collected his thoughts. There was _every_ reason not to do this - it was one thing to sleep with a crew member, but another thing entirely to get involved with the actor playing Prince Arthur.

"Do you think... are we being really stupid here?" he asked quietly. "I mean, maybe we should think about what we're doing to our careers, what we're doing to the show, to our characters."

"Colin," Bradley said bracingly. "You're the most professional actor on that set - apart from Richard, maybe. I can keep my act together if you can."

"I can," Colin said. "But what if - if it ends the way everything else has ended? You know how things usually go for me... everything gets all lopsided and-"

"I really don't think this is lopsided," Bradley said quietly. "I mean, if you fancy me as much as you say you do, and... and I've never fancied another guy this much before. Really, it was complete torture listening to you shag Jon night after night. I'd be lying if I said I didn't sometimes... listen and... well..." He trailed off, blushing.

Colin's trousers tightened suddenly as he imagined Bradley wanking while listening to him being fucked in the next room.

"All right," he said, suddenly making up his mind. "I think I'm willing to be a complete idiot and risk this if you are."

"I'm always a complete idiot," Bradley said, grinning. "Why change now?"

"Inspiring words."

Bradley winked and grabbed his fork. "Come on. Let's eat so we can get back to your room and do more interesting things."

Colin's trousers tightened further as he reached for his own fork.

 ****

~

That night, as Bradley fell asleep next to him after a few hours of kissing and extremely teasing touching, Colin grabbed his mobile off the nightstand and sent a quick goodnight text to his brother.

_All bets are off. Bradley fancies me and we're giving it a go._

[ ](http://shoppery.livejournal.com/2420.html)

He tucked the mobile under his pillow and closed his eyes, wondering if he'd ever manage to fall asleep. He felt too happy and had too much adrenaline pumping through him. The mobile vibrated under his pillow and he pulled it out to check on the reply.

_Your knight in shining armour? I may vomit._

[ ](http://shoppery.livejournal.com/2420.html)

Colin grinned the in the dark and wrote back quickly before turning off the mobile.

_Fuck off._


	4. Part Four - France

"Do you want to come and see if my room's changed since last time?" Bradley asked as he and Colin dragged their suitcases down the hotel hallway.

Colin laughed and looked behind them at the other cast and crew members struggling along with their luggage. "That's the worst line I've ever heard," he said quietly.

"Come on," Bradley persisted. "We have a late start..."

Colin stopped outside his door and watched as Katie and Angel continued past. "I'll be over in a few," he whispered before unlocking his room and dragging his suitcase inside.

He unpacked the basics - his scripts, some books, his toothbrush and favorite shampoo. He wanted to be with Bradley, but he couldn't help but remember how thin the walls were in this particular hotel - so much thinner than in their hotel in Wales.

When he couldn't procrastinate any longer, he went out into the hallway and knocked gently on Bradley's door. Bradley opened it quickly, dragged Colin inside, and had him pressed against it before Colin could even smile in greeting.

Colin leaned back on the door and slid his hands under Bradley's shirt as they kissed. Bradley was always so warm - and his muscles always so _hard_ under Colin's grasping fingers.

"Cols," Bradley whispered when Colin broke the kiss to remove Bradley's shirt. "I was thinking-"

Colin cut him off with a kiss and took advantage of all the newly exposed skin. Bradley leaned into him and Colin was surprised to feel Bradley's cock against his thigh - already hard and wanting.

"You're so eager," Colin muttered against Bradley's wide lips. He reached for Bradley's belt, but Bradley grabbed his wrists to stop him.

"Cols, please."

"Please what?" Colin asked, pulling his hands out of Bradley's grip and sliding them into the back pockets of Bradley's jeans instead.

"I was thinking we could... if you wanted..."

"If I wanted what?" Colin squeezed Bradley's firm arse appreciatively and Bradley swallowed loudly.

"If you _wanted_... you know."

"Bradley." Colin gave Bradley a firm glare to stop him from rambling anymore. "What are you on about?"

"I brought condoms," Bradley said, blushing magnificently. "And lube."

Colin groaned as his own cock got hard in record time. "Are you sure?" he asked, pulling his hands out of Bradley's pockets. They had done everything _but_ in their rooms in Wales - Colin had been aching for it from the beginning, but Bradley had shied away from it. He'd told Colin that he'd only tried it once before and had been so distracted by the other guy's obvious pain that it hadn't been enjoyable in the slightest. Colin had been _dying_ to show him how good it could be, but he had sworn to himself not to push for it too quickly.

"God, yes," Bradley groaned. He leaned closer and licked across Colin's bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth to nibble on it.

Colin swallowed a whimper as his eyes rolled back in his head. "Okay," he managed when Bradley pulled away. "Okay."

They stripped quickly and moved over to the bed, running their hands all over and reaching for each other's cocks.

"Make-up," Colin rasped when Bradley began sucking possessively on his neck.

Bradley mumbled something against Colin's skin and didn't pull back until there was a showy bruise where his lips had just been.

"I don't care," Bradley said firmly, sitting up between Colin's legs. "Which, um... positions do you like?"

"Whichever," Colin said, a bit breathless as Bradley began stroking his cock. "How do you want it? How have you been fantasizing about it?"

Bradley smiled and leaned down for a teasing kiss that left Colin squirming. "Like this," he whispered. "Just like this."

"Perfect," Colin managed, his voice hoarse. "Where's the lube, then?"

Bradley leapt away for his suitcase and returned a moment later, his hand already slick. He prepared Colin slowly, torturously - sliding one finger in at a time, curling them just so, teasing and tickling and making Colin feel open and raw and desperate and so, _so_ ready.

"Are you going to do this all night?" Colin rasped, arching as Bradley shifted his fingers. "'Cause I'm not going to last that long."

Bradley eased his fingers out and started fussing with a foil packet.

"You'll let me know if it hurts?" he asked, grabbing Colin's hip with one hand and his sheathed cock with the other.

"It won't hurt," Colin reassured him. He pulled his knees up to his chest and watched as Bradley pressed inside him, moving in tiny increments. Colin knew he was trying to be gentle, but it actually did hurt that way. He knew Bradley would back out entirely if he said so, so he settled for pushing forward against Bradley's slow movements.

"Come on," he groaned out when Bradley only seemed to move slower. "It's better if you just do it."

Bradley swallowed and pushed in the rest of the way in one swift thrust. Colin pressed back into the pillow, breathing deeply and trying to relax around the intrusion.

"Does it hurt?" Bradley asked, his voice tense.

Colin shook his head. "No, it just feels different... like... yeah. Go on."

Bradley smiled, grabbed Colin's thighs and moved them slightly, encouraging Colin to wrap them around his waist. Colin did so and was rewarded with Bradley leaning down to kiss him.

Colin arched desperately into the kiss as Bradley began moving his hips. His hands scrambled on Bradley's back, one eventually settling in Bradley's hair as Bradley rocked mercilessly against him.

"Fuck," Bradley spat, pulling back from the kiss and sitting up. He grabbed Colin's hips and pulled them higher as he thrust. Colin threw his head back and wailed as Bradley began pounding directly against his sensitive prostate.

"Oh, God," Colin cried out, reaching out for Bradley's thighs and gripping them tightly. "Jesus, Bradley..."

Bradley let out a choked sound as his rhythm grew faster. Colin clamped his mouth shut to muffle his moans, but then Bradley reached for his cock and he let out a loud gasp. The sensations quickly became too much and before he could stop it, before he could regain control of himself, before he could tell Bradley to slow down - before he even had the chance to breathe, he was arching wildly into his orgasm, shaking and letting out half-screams, half-moans, half-pleas as Bradley's grip tightened around his throbbing cock.

Bradley's rhythm was relentless, even after he let go of Colin's spent cock. He held on tightly to Colin's hips, pulling Colin against him as he rocked his own hips. Colin let out helpless, quiet moans as Bradley fucked him apart - he felt overwhelmed, on the edge of something as painful as it would be pleasurable, about to split open at any second. He reached out for Bradley's sides again, trying to anchor himself to reality. Bradley doubled over with a cry, his hips stuttering as he came. Colin slid his hands to Bradley's chest, holding Bradley up as he gasped through his climax.

Finally, after a long moment of Bradley hovering over Colin, his eyes clenched tightly, Bradley leaned down and gave Colin a long, drawn-out kiss.

"Fucking hell," he muttered against Colin's lips, barely bothering to break the kiss before he started speaking. "That was..."

Colin smirked and rolled his hips, making Bradley whimper slightly. "You have no idea."

Bradley sat up tenderly, stared down at where they were joined, and then pulled out with an aching, maddening slowness. Colin clenched his teeth as Bradley left him and shifted off the bed to dispose of the condom. He felt empty and sore and utterly debauched.

Bradley flung himself back on the bed with a grunt and buried his face in Colin's sweaty neck.

"You can't even pretend to be quiet, can you?"

Colin grinned and ran his hand through Bradley's soft, damp hair. "Not when you do that, no."

"How does it feel?" Bradley asked, looking up at Colin.

Colin licked his lips, trying to piece together an accurate description. "Like... like electricity."

Bradley snorted against Colin's jaw. " _Billy Elliot_ , really? That's how you're going to describe our sex? With a quote from a ballet movie?"

"Hey," Colin defended himself, grinning. "I love that movie. And I've no idea how to describe it. There's nothing like it. It's just - you just feel it all over. But there's a very definite center to the feeling, and... yeah."

"Eloquent," Bradley teased, nipping at Colin's earlobe.

"I told you, I don't know how to describe it. Come on." He reached his arm around Bradley's wide body to smack Bradley's arse. "Let's take a shower before we fall asleep."

Bradley followed him dutifully to the bathroom and they soaped each other up and washed each other off, mumbling things to each other that might have been embarrassing or true or stupid or all three. When they step out of the shower, Colin looked at the two of them in the mirror and then nearly lost his mind. He grabbed Bradley's hair and tugged on it too roughly, kissed Bradley's startled lips too hard and too long - he couldn't help himself.

Bradley finally managed to pull back, looking breathless and amused. "Well."

Colin blushed slightly. "Yeah."

Bradley grinned, kissing the tip of Colin's nose sweetly, and then reached for the towels. They dried off together and then raced each other for the bed - Bradley dove in first, but then Colin landed on top of him and they ended up wrestling until Bradley accidentally elbowed Colin sharply in the ribs.

"I think it's broken," Colin wheezed dramatically, clutching his side.

"You big baby," Bradley teased, pushing Colin's hands away and licking across the budding bruise. "You'll be fine."

"Is that really how you cure a broken rib?" Colin asked as Bradley's tongue continued to slide across his skin. "I'm not a kitten, you know."

"That's entirely debatable," Bradley said, rolling onto his back and pulling the covers up around them both.

Colin rolled his eyes and turned onto his side, facing away from Bradley. This was how they always slept in their hotel beds - separate and in their own usual positions. However, on this night, Bradley curled up behind Colin after a minute.

Colin bit back a smile as Bradley fitted his knees just behind Colin's and wrapped one arm around Colin's middle. Colin let himself sink back against Bradley's warm chest and wrap his hand around Bradley's.

"This is nice," Bradley whispered into Colin's still wet hair.

"I might kick you off in the middle of the night," Colin warned.

"That's fair," Bradley assured him. "But for now..."

Colin stroked his thumb along Bradley's hand, focusing on Bradley's breathing and the incredible warmth emanating from the body behind him.

"Will you show me sometime?" Bradley asked, just as Colin was starting to drift off. "Since you can't describe it... will you show me?"

Colin licked his lips, trying to control the mad surge of lust that Bradley's suggestion had just sent through his tired body. "Of course," he whispered. "Any time you like."

Bradley squeezed Colin's hand. "It might not be soon," he said quietly.

"That's fine," Colin said, squeezing Bradley's hand in return. "Whenever you're ready. We can keep doing what we did tonight. I don't know if you noticed, but I quite like it."

Bradley snorted into Colin's neck and Colin squirmed at the gust of warm breath.

"You're sort of a slut," Bradley teased.

"I'm not a slut," Colin said, too tired to be offended.

"You are," Bradley insisted. "But, you're my slut."

"I'm not a slut," Colin said again. "I'm a mole person."

Bradley tightened his hold on Colin's middle as he pressed his forehead into Colin's shoulder and laughed long and hard.

Colin smiled to himself, satisfied. He loved making Bradley laugh - it was easy and he usually didn't even mean to do it, but the sound was so rewarding.

"You're my mole person," Bradley said, still giggling slightly.

"Always," Colin murmured, exhaustion settling over him. "And you're my beefcakes."

Bradley shook behind him in silent laughter. Colin closed his eyes and pressed his cheek into the pillow, ready to fall asleep with Bradley holding onto him like nothing else mattered.

Bradley pressed a kiss to Colin's neck and snuggled up even closer. "Goodnight."

Colin flexed his fingers around Bradley's in response. "Night," he breathed.

"Hey Cols?" Bradley's voice pulled him back from the brink of sleep.

"Mm," Colin managed, struggling to stay conscious.

"Thanks for... you know. Things and... and stuff."

Colin grinned sleepily and pulled Bradley's arms tighter around himself. "Go to sleep, Bradley. You can talk more nonsense at me in the morning."

"Right - the morning," Bradley said before yawning against Colin's skin. "G'night."

Colin nodded and stifled his own yawn. He shifted one of his legs slightly, sliding his foot in between Bradley's and entangling their ankles. Bradley brushed his toes against Colin's foot and Colin fell asleep smiling.


End file.
